News, Reviews & Features
  • I just now got round to watching Piranha 3DD so here are some notes

    Movie Feature | Ali Gray | 25th May 2015

    Tonight was one of those nights where there was literally nothing on so you go, look, we can either watch Alan Carr do fake-laughs about cheap alcohol with someone from TOWIE or we can watch Piranha 3DD. I wish somehow I could have closed my eyes and synergised the two together so I could have watched Alan Carr being eaten by angry fish. Here are my notes on Piranha 3DD which are only three years late.

  • An unfortunate photo juxtaposition

    Movie Feature | Ali | 18th September 2012

    Something something 'Rolling In The Deep'. (*cough*)

  • Piranha 3DD trailer: double the durr

    Movie Trailer | Ali | 1st March 2012

    So you can bring Ving Rhames back from the dead, but you can't reanimate Kelly Brook back into a bikini? I'm starting to doubt whether or not I can take this killer piranha movie seriously at all.

  • Bad news for lovers of tits and fish

    Movie News | Ali | 31st December 2011

    Oscar-hopeful Piranha 3DD has had its theatrical release canned and is heading straight to DVD, which is terrible news for lovers of trashy horror films but great news for people who hate getting boners in public.


    Movie News | Ali | 28th March 2011

    What's that, in the water? Is it a Pirconda? Is it a Condhana? No, it's a PIRANHACONDA! Watch the fuck out, Japan.

  • 11 worst movie lines of 2010

    Movie Feature | Ali | 27th December 2010

    You've already seen our list of guilty pleasures from 2010, and with awesomely bad movies comes awesomely bad dire-logue - the lines that drop out of character's mouths like turds out of bumholes. Enjoy!

  • The guiltiest pleasures of 2010

    Movie Feature | Ali | 22nd December 2010

    2010 has been a bumper year for movies that nestle somewhere between 'demented genius' and 'unparalleled garbage'. Here are our favourite guilty pleasures of the year: please don't judge us.

  • Piranha 3D

    Movie Review | Christopher Ratcliff | 25th August 2010

    Piranha 3D is a film that truly wears its commercialism on its sleeve. Not like Transformers or GI Joe, which despite having the snigger-inducing opening credit 'Based on a Hasbro toy', still pretend to be legitimate filmmaking enterprises rather than lavishly expensive adverts by hiding within multiple layers of confusing narrative and unearned pathos. Not Piranha 3D though. Oh no.

  • Good work, Piranha trailer

    Movie Trailer | Ali | 1st May 2010

    Last week's Piranha's teaser trailer had it all, except Kelly Brook's bikini body. Thankfully this epic cinematic wrong has been righted. Also, there are killer fish on the loose! And bad actors!

  • Piranha 3D teaser trailer needs more Kelly Brook

    Movie Trailer | Ali | 26th April 2010

    From the franchise that once kinda sorta employed the director of Avatar... using an inferior version of the same 3D technology, and the tagline from Jaws 2... are you ready for Piranha 3D?