Rant

News, Reviews & Features
  • Review: I Am Mother wears its influences on whatever robots have instead of sleeves

    Movie Review | Luke Whiston | 1st July 2019

    Once again I find myself pondering the meaning of life in a Greggs. I like the way the servers don't indulge in the folly that producing coffee is a lengthy, complex task. They turn around, press a button, and 15-20 seconds later a cup is plonked on the counter. That's not to badmouth the baristas of other chains - I'm sure there's a skill to what they do - but the process is needlessly prolonged with steam bursts and putting bendy tubes in milk cartons. The staff of Greggs understand the purpose of my visit and their role in it as facilitators of quick hot brown slop. To extrapolate that to its only logical conclusion, we can ascertain that they value above all the one thing that binds human existence and has led to this exact moment we are all experiencing in unison: time. It's 8am and already it has been a big day.

  • Review: The Wandering Earth seeks to save the planet but rings hollow

    Movie Review | Luke Whiston | 31st May 2019

    Think of the most outlandish thing you can think of. Now imagine it bigger. No, bigger than that. Think the Wright Brothers diving into the Trench Run. Bigger. Think Nikola Tesla wielding Mjolnir in a duel with Edison. Bigger! Elon Musk smoking weed on Mars in a mech. Bigger still, dammit! Ok, now take whatever mental image you've arrived at and multiply it by ten, then run into a wall to give yourself a concussion. Congratulations you are now somewhere close to the wild, inspirational, childish ambition of The Wandering Earth.

  • This just in: Margot Robbie is wearing clothes

    Movie News | Ali Gray | 7th August 2018

    The first publicity shot of Margot Robbie from Quentin Tarantino‘s new movie Once Upon A Time In Hollywood is in, and I think I can safely say that, wow, that is Margot Robbie all right!

  • The Hateful Eight

    Movie Review | Matt Looker | 8th January 2016

    Tarantino movies are primarily known for two things: long, wordy dialogue and extreme, bloody violence. However, the difference in this new drawling epic, is that the two are kept almost entirely separate, with viewers forced to sit for over 90 minutes of bum-numbing scenery-chewing before a first shot is even fired. Still, pacing issues don’t exist in a Tarantino film, do they? Not when every smug, showy word is delivered with all the prestige of a gift-wrapped masterclass in filmmaking, complete with nods to classic films, winks to the audience and middle fingers to the fainthearted. Throw in some cool music, offbeat humour, iconic character moments and some controversial racist themes, and this film delivers everything you expect - and want - from a Tarantino movie. It is quintessential Quentin. It's Quentinssential.

  • The Rewrite

    Movie Review | Becky Suter | 10th October 2014

    Before I launch into my review of The Rewrite, I'd like to take the opportunity to tell you about my own script entitled "Another Shit Movie Starring Hugh Grant", where Hugh Grant plays Hugh Grant, a Hugh Grant who is trying to make a film about Hugh Grant being Hugh Grant, but Hugh Grant doesn't want to Hugh Grant anymore, so Hugh Grant must out-Hugh Grant's Hugh Grant, and everyone's Hugh Grant. If by now, you want to stick pins in your eyes to prevent me from going any further, then you will know how I felt watching The Rewrite.

  • Top 10 films of our lifetime #8: Let The Right One In

    Movie Feature | Neil Alcock | 17th September 2014

    Number #8 on the countdown of the Top 10 films of our lifetime is the only foreign language film to make the grade. That doesn't mean we're not a continental bunch, however: I've been to Iceland, which is a bit like Sweden, and I walked past a cinema (it was showing Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes, which I'd already seen, making me feel like a cinephile) - Ali.

  • Separated at birth?

    Movie News | Ali Gray | 8th October 2013

    It's okay, Jeremy. Not everyone can wear a moustache.

  • Today I learned: Quentin Tarantino was in an episode of The Golden Girls

    Movie News | Ali | 6th June 2013

    I guess this settles it: he's definitely not a Beatles man. Screencapped from an episode of The Golden Girls in 1988 (Sophia's Wedding: Part I) where he played an Elvis impersonator. The DVD belongs to my wife. Shut up.

  • Django Unchained

    Movie Review | Ed Williamson | 14th January 2013

    I've seen Django Unchained twice now. After the second viewing, I looked back through the notes I'd made after the first, and realised that most of them were now useless. As with a lot of Quentin Tarantino's work, it takes more than one watch to fully form an opinion, but in this case I'd changed my mind almost entirely. I read back through them, crossing out complaints regarding its lengthy, meandering scenes and its jarring refusal to end at its obvious conclusion. But I understand these things better now for what they are: exercises in character development that make this one of its author's richest and most engaging works.

  • Tom Hooper still waiting patiently for his turn to talk

    Movie Feature | Ali | 3rd January 2013



    Something tells us he'll be waiting a while. (HT @NevPierce for the gif)