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News, Reviews & Features

Review: Guava Island has lovely sights but hums a dark tune

Movie Review | Luke Whiston | 9th May 2019

Donald Glover is a man of impossible talent and unparalleled style. At the age of just 35 he is already an accomplished actor, director, writer, singer and producer - both on TV and in the music world. So acclaimed is he, there is a lengthy Wikipedia page dedicated purely to his many awards and nominations in the arts. He is politically aware, incorporating challenging satire into his work, and often performs in aid of charities and causes. He has 2.43 million Twitter followers despite never having Tweeted. He was the only logical choice to play Lando Calrissian, the coolest man in the galaxy, in the Han Solo movie because he is in fact the coolest man in the universe. His entire being is infectious and we as a species should be thanking fortune, serendipity, providence, or whatever deity you believe controls time and space, that we are all alive under the same sky - a sky from which the stars look down upon him to learn how to shine. Yes, yes that's much better than my original opener: 'if Get Out was real I would save up for the guy who plays Troy in Community'.

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Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets

Movie Review | Matt Looker | 27th July 2017

Anyone who has read this site's review of Jupiter Ascending or pretty much any of the Transformer films will know that we tend to be more lenient than most when it comes to over-ambitious sci-fi epics. We forgive atrocious dialogue and overlong running times in order to reward dumb fun alien shit. So, frankly, Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets is lucky to have us, because this is a movie in which legendary filmmaker Luc Besson doesn't bother looking at the script twice nor his watch once while he continuously plays with an endless line-up of CGI distractions. This is him procrastinating with his own imagination in the same way that you or I would dick about on Twitter rather than get on with any real work. This is Luc Besson's Faff Element.

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Battleship

Movie Review | Ali | 11th April 2012

"Well... what did you expect?" I don't give much credence to people who equate 'blockbuster' with 'brainless entertainment'. Just because it has a big budget, is based on a board game, stars dramatically-challenged pop singer Rihanna and is a blatant Transformers stand-in for an Optimus-free summer, doesn't give Battleship the excuse to be average. All of this puts it at an instant disadvantage when it comes to preconceptions, sure, but I for one hoped that director Peter Berg could pull a soggy rabbit out of his hat. After all, how can you make a $200 million alien invasion blockbuster set on water, featuring methods of transport so lumbering and slow, it takes them an hour just to change direction? How indeed. The answer is OH MY GOD LOOK AN EXPLOSION!!!

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New Battleship trailer makes slow news day go with a bang

Movie Trailer | Ali | 13th March 2012

Frankly, I'm only posting this because a) it has explosions and Liam Neeson in it, my two favourite things, b) it's a trailer and not a teaser for a trailer, naming no names RIDLEY SCOTT'S PROMETHEUS, and c) it's not camcorder footage of a Twilight sequel playing on TV in a shop. News!

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