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The Transporter Refuelled

Movie Review | Matt Looker | 4th September 2015

So where the Transporter series once ran on the balding bad-assery of Jason Statham, now it has been 'refuelled' with... what, exactly? New action hero Ed Skrein - a former Game Of Thrones ~~star~~ extra - is hardly a nitrous gas boost worthy of such a title boast, is he? He isn't even fit to be called the Super Unleaded Stath. Surely, the 'refuelled' Transporter is only something to get excited about if the titular role was played by someone like franchise viagara Dwayne Johnson, who can provide extra lead in Frank Martin's pencil/engine. Or, wait, I've got it! Vin Diesel! Aw, c'mon. That would be perfect. What do I win?

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Irony alert: Poster for the Transporter film that breaks its own first rule

Movie Feature | Matt Looker | 22nd March 2015

No Jason Statham? No deal. Oh wait, unless we abide by Rule #2 because then that doesn't matter, right? I'm so confused. Sod it, let's just follow Rule #3 too and not bother to see this.

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New Shiznit film critic Michael Owen reviews this week's new releases

Movie Feature | Michael Owen | 15th August 2014

The internet did a collective snigger today when a Guardian interview revealed footballer-turned-pundit Michael Owen had only ever seen five films in his life, including Jurassic Park, Ghost and Heat. Because I'm a die hard Liverpool fan and I'm always keen to expand the horizons of fledgling film fans, I asked Michael if he was up for watching and reviewing five of this week's new releases, doubling his total. Unbelievably, he said yes! I know! I'm still in shock! Take it away, Michael Owen!

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This is how the trailer for Brick Mansions credits Luc Besson

Movie Feature | Ali Gray | 1st April 2014

Don't even know how to words. (Trailer here: it's Paul Walker's remake of District 13, in case you were wondering).

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Dixon: BBC defection down to "culture of cruelty"

TV Feature | Ed Williamson | 23rd July 2012

Football pundit Lee Dixon today fired a bitter parting shot at his former BBC colleagues, exposing a culture of beatings, spitting and devil-worship.

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Euro 2012 stars sign up for Game of Thrones

TV News | Ed Williamson | 27th June 2012

With England now having crashed out of Euro 2012 like the mugs they are, there's no real point in turning the telly on any more. Fortunately, many of the tournament's stand-out performers have been talent-scouted by HBO for the next season of Game of Thrones. No, I know I can't follow that first sentence with that second one as if there's some sort of causality involved. Shut up, you wouldn't have even noticed if I hadn't pointed it out.

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Your pull-out guide to the BBC snooker commentary team

TV Feature | Ed Williamson | 26th April 2012

The May bank holiday's just around the corner and that means only one thing: the snooker's on, and we're all glued to the baize. The BBC has made The Crucible into our theatre of dreams in its coverage over the years, but what of the men (and a woman, though they seem to have binned her now) who bring it to you? What's their bloody deal?

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TIL: Eric Cantona stars in crime thrillers now

Movie News | Luke | 25th February 2012

Today I learned that former kickballer extraordinaire and now actor, Eric Cantona, has taken his love for kicking things and speaking in front of cameras to a logical conclusion: crime/action thrillers! Actually that's a half-truth - I found this out last week but only bothered typing it up today.

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Goon

Movie Review | Rob | 2nd January 2012

Ice hockey sits pretty atop my 'If I was an American high-schooler, I'd definitely think about playing it' list. Unfortunately, Hollywood doesn't appear to share my enthusiasm for needless icy bloodlust. There have been plenty of American football, baseball and basketball movies, but when it comes to ice hockey, what do we have? Slap Shot? That's 35 years old. The Mighty Ducks? Pfft, Goon would smash its teeth in and down a beer in celebration.

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The Damned United

Movie Review | Rob | 30th March 2009

Back when the pitches were unkempt mud puddles, the wages were low, the shorts were high, the players were British (and Irish) chubby boozers and smokers, and the football was a proper contact sport with fists flying all over the shop. Before such things as 'transfer windows', David Beckham, and the concept of 'foreign' players,...

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