Contagion: Steven Soderbergh remade Outbreak minus the monkey


14th July 2011

Hipster's choice Steven Soderbergh made a movie you probably haven't heard of called Contagion, but cast Matt Damon and Kate Winslet in it. Ugh, sell-out. (*straightens lens-free glasses*)

Steven Soderbergh has been quiet since short-changing masturbators with Sasha Grey's boregasm The Girlfriend Experience, but he's making his return to cinema with Contagion, a realistic take on the old 'killer disease' movie. Yeah, it's basically Outbreak without the AIDS monkey.

Answers to the name 'Mr Schnookums'. Is hungry and scared.

Contagion has quite the cast, although with Gwyneth Paltrow, Kate Winslet and Jude Law all appearing, you half expect Chris Martin to wander into shot and show off whichever charity he's written on the palm of his hand this week. Big Larry Fishburne looks like bringing the gravitas, although if he can't stop his daughter from getting banged by porn stars, what hope has humanity?

The trailer does a pretty good job of giving you a sense of danger and a feeling for scale, but even famed indie auteurs like Steven Soderbergh can't resist resting on few cliché crutches every now and then. See this map of the world with a bit of red on it? That's now. See this map of the world with LOADS OF RED on it? That's SOON. (*gasp*)

Yeah, I'd really prefer it with the AIDS monkey.

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