"I challenge you to a beat-off!"

Check out the trailer for The FP, a post-apocalyptic videogame dance-off thriller, which makes Hobo With A Shotgun look like a documentary, and features "bitch" as the insult of choice. Is this real life?

If you loved The Warriors but thought it needed more videogame dance-montages, then The FP might just be the film for you. Set in the near-future, where harsh blue lighting and only clothes from the deepest, darkest recesses of TK Maxx are allowed, The FP sees hero JTRO (eye-patch and attitude) go up against villain L Dubba E (lamb-chops, gold tooth) in the ancient sport of, er, dance videogame Beat Beat Revelation.

With lines like that headline, you'd expect The FP to be an out-and-out spoof - or at the very least, an easily-identifiable B-movie homage. But shit, if it isn't played as straight as an arrow. Maybe it's just decades of Friedberg and Seltzer spoofs and reams of retro-grade B-fests like Machete and Grindhouse, but I have no idea whether The FP is the real deal. I sort of hope it is. Judge for yourself.



It looks a bit like if Streetdance started hanging around with Robocop and Gaspar Noé made a movie about it while off his tits on PCP and out-of-date ham. Judging by early reviews ("Recklessly funny!" "A ready-made cult hit!") it would appear this humour as been achieved intentionally, which is both a relief and a disappointment.

If nothing else, I now have 'Cranberry Juice' as my insult of choice every time I go out drinking with Luke.