Sing with me: War... HORSE! Yeah... What is it good for?


29th June 2011

Absolutely nothing? Play it again, y'all - it's the trailer for Steven Spielberg's War Horse. (That was to be sung to the tune of Edwin Starr's 'War', if that wasn't abundantly clear).

Steven Spielberg is well-known for his double-handers: he'll make two movies in a year that couldn't be more different. Jurassic Park and Schindler's List in 1993. War Of The Worlds and Munich in 2005. So if we're in for another double-hander in 2011, then The Adventures Of Tintin would be the dominant hand, and War Horse would be the gimpy Beadle paw we're all supposed to feel sorry for and are secretly disgusted by.

I know, "War is hell" and all that. And hey, I love horses - they're the best of all the animals. But you lost me at 'war as seen through the eyes of a horse'. Horses don't give a shit, man. They have no comprehension of human nature and man's inhumanity to his fellow man. Trust me, they're in it for the sugar and those little rosettes.

Unless it can talk, has a sassy cow as a best friend and is capable of smirking, I'm just not interested as a horse as a protagonist.

PS. This is my favourite horse scene in a movie, from The Ring. I won't spoil it, because the YouTube header does a good enough job of that.


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