Step Up 3D trailer: your face is about to get served


3rd April 2010

Ohhhh snap, beeyatch! Homie just popped yo ass with a double-crank backflip smoothie! Take yo ass back to yo trailer! Look, it's a slow news day, alright?

Unfortunately we shot our bolt earlier this week with trailers for The A-Team and The Expendables, so now we're left with the dregs, namely this trailer for Step Up 3D - the one-dimensional dance movie that's apparently worth justifying in three.

I've seen a couple of these dance movies, and without fail, every single one is exactly the same. There's a hot young thing on the scene who has to prove his/her self in order to hit up the dance contest. Then there's body-popping for 80 minutes, then there's some kissing and some more body-popping. And, if you're lucky, some bare midriff to fap over.

Also, the dialogue is guaranteed to be of the 'phoney sounding inspirational' variety. Check out this choice tidbit:

"One move can bring people together... One move can make you believe like you're something more... Sometimes one move can set a whole generation free!"
Maybe that's where Gandhi went wrong. Instead of non-violent resistance and starvation, he should have started spinning on his head and doing the robot. Let's see them shut down the rec centre now!

PS. Nice to see they stole a move from America's Got Talent.

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