Trailer: The Chronicles Of Narnia: Voyage Of The Dawn Treader

All aboard the good ship (*dismissive wank gesture*).

While Harry Potter is finally nearing the end of his term at Hogwarts school for wizards (and getting closer still to puberty in the process), the Chronicles Of Narnia franchise never really got into its stride. The first movie, The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe, was harmless enough: a BBC1 Christmas Day movie if ever there was one. Follow-up Prince Caspian wasn't bad either, in a sort of ITV1 Boxing Day movie kind of way.

Now, after a lengthy hiatus and a change of studio, third Narnia adventure Voyage Of The Dawn Treader is almost ready to leave port (that's a boating reference, in case you missed it). It looks... wet. There's definitely a lot of water. And CGI creatures. And rubbish acting. I did like the final bit of voiceover, when they announce "Directed by Michael Apted", like that's supposed to mean something to anyone other than Michael Apted.

I feel a kinship towards the Narnia franchise though, because I once interviewed Ben Barnes and he was really lovely, even though my questions were terrible. He didn't let me have a bite of his bacon sandwich though, and I was bloody starving. So, I guess, in retrospect, I hope this movie crashes and burns. Who's laughing now, Barnes?