Review: Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull

It was...ok.
But you can smell the Lucas input moments from a mile away, I mean come on - comedy gophers? Mutt swinging through the jungle with his monkey friends? Hilarious chase via 238 vehicles and "Now *I* have the thingy in the bag".
And as for the Happy Days "Greaser vs The Preppies" fight in the cafe...oh dear oh dear, you already made American Graffiti George, stop trying to say "Look, I wasn't always a tinkering neck-troll".

Spielberg knows his shit, the whole Warehouse intro was classic Spielberg with excitement, well choreographed action and light comedy relief. But I smell Lucas over most of it. Anybody watched the "Making of" sections on the trilogy DVD? Spielberg saying that Lucas gave him a wishlist of thing he wanted including "Saluting monkeys"....

2/5 just for the opening 25mins and that bit with the scampering natives using blowpipes.

That was ok, I think. It felt like an Indiana Jones film. The story was perhaps a little over the top, but all of the movies have had a fantasy element to them - sacred stones that make crops grow? Lost arks and Holy Grail? I think the trend of movies recently, things have either been thoroughly fantasy, or very much set in the real world and as such I think this mix could confuse a modern crowd of morons...

Anyway, I'm waffling - it had it's bad points, but they weren't Shia Lebouff - though I worry they might try to make HIM Indy (Lucas has suggested it) which just wouldn't do - he was okay here, but he's not a replacement.

I think Headcases nicked the Old Indy joke title. They had Indiana Jones and The Long Queue At The Post Office. I'll add

Indiana Jones and The Quite Intimidating Teenagers
Indiana Jones the the Mysterious Lavender Smell

Quick capsule review: the worst Indiana Jones film but still a lot of fun in its own right. Christ, Greg. Far away countries have cinemas, right?

I haven't seen this yet. Indiana Jones is a massive part of my childhood. If I watched this... would it be like pissing on all those memories? Everyone says it's shit.

I still don't understand "SatC"...it's annoying crap, yet women genuinely do flock to it, like flies to shit. You already know they're going to do something "outrageous" like show a dick, or say "anal", and that's meant to be some brave new dawn for womankind? Hate hate hate. Oh, and they'll kill off the one with cancer too - big Trouble In Little China woman. There was some fuss about her getting less money...methinks this means a lot less screentime, right? anyway, don't care, horrid, preachy shit, get out oF MY INTERNET!

Oh, and Indy 4 is still a terrible film. I mean super, ultra bad.

Ahahaha "with the missus"
You're already with her and, I presume, have seen the boobies. You don't *need* to watch it, just say "No I am heterosexual and therefore allergic to chickflick horseshit"
Then punch her in the womb and build a fire or something

I'm taking one for the team and going to see it with the missus this week. I'm taking in a steak, a football and a jazz mag for extra man points, and I'm going to punch out at least one fat chick before I leave.

Chicks, gays and retards deserve a film too, don't be so hateful.

What film?

I'm not even going to acknowledge that film exists.

I'd hold back on your insults until Sex And The City comes out. Now who's the three star film, jerkwads!

Terrible.

I want to see this again, just to see if perhaps the initial excitement put a bit of a sheen on it first time round. Every criticism I've read of it has been pretty on the money tbh. But I think a lot of people are missing the point with some criticisms i.e. the fridge. It's supposed to be fantasy!

He says GO!GO!GO!GO! instead, showing us his powerful versatility as a thesp.

-4 stars.

So very woeful.

Does Shaky-Low-Beef say "NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!" a lot?
It can't really be awful with Spielberg at the helm - much as I dislike his habit of ending with twee, sugar coated resolutions of missing father figures he knows his stuff and hasn't delivered a bad film yet.
Lucas on the other hand....

I rate this film -3 stars.

this movie is absolutely brilliant and probably the last blockbustyer Spielberg will make. If you want to consider it... think this way... think how bad it could've been to consider how good it is. Its a fine addition to the canon.

Now I'm going to be disappointed that it hasn't got all that in it.

Hahaha, I can imagine the Jackass music over a montage of Indy running away from boulders, and crashing into crates.

"Whip Dave England's butt!"

Now that's a great idea. A fake Indy article on why it sucked because they made Sean Connery a cyborg and had a Luke Skywalker cameo. And Indy turns to camera and says 'Welcome to Jackass' before bull-whipping himself in the face.

"Although I thought the bit with the CGI Sean Connery was a bit much"

Don't you go baiting no 'tards now, y'hear?

Shaaaaat it!

That's a good idea. Best to go in fresh. Although I thought the bit with the CGI Sean Connery was a bit much. You'd think he'd mind.

"Indiana Jones & The Dwindling Numbers At The Annual D-Day Reunion"

Going to see this on Tuesday and have so far succeeded in resisting the spoilers on PM.

I've avoided the hype for this, I'm not going to suckerpunched in the balls 4 times by Lucas - 3 is enough.
It's Spielberg and Indy, so can't be all bad. It'll be a downloaded R5 copy for me, just not excited enough to cinema visit.
Besides, I swore Fuckneck would get no more of my money after RAPING MY CHILDHOOD with his other films.
*shakes fist*

I still think it should've been called "Indiana Jones & The Nice Bit of Fish"

I don't think it reads like a 4-star. There's plenty of negative stuff in there. I think that review is about 1300 words, but I could have written another 5000 on it - nitpicking various bits and bobs, why this works, why this doesn't etc. But then that's kinda missing the point - as a standalone movie, it's solid 3-star fun. Depending on your excitement and how it meets your expectations, add either a star or take one away. Some will be delighted, others disappointed. So it's a three.

I'm genuinely interested to read what people thought about this. Most of the film people in my office have copped out with an 'okay' like they're scared of being embarrassed later on down the line.

That read more like a 4 star review than a 3.

Anyway... I can't wait to see it. I was Indiana Jones crazy as a kid and as long as it's not total shit then I'll love it all the same.

I so so so can't wait to see this. Ali you lucky dog!