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Review: X-Men: Apocalypse

Posted by Ali Gray at 22:46 on 19 May 2016
X-Men: Apocalypse
Forgive me for sounding like I'm on the company payroll, but have Marvel movies ruined superhero movies for everyone else? I fear they have. The Marvel Cinematic Universe made its own space in the superhero sphere; it owns the area marked 'fun'. DC, as a countermeasure to all the lousy fun everyone was enjoying, staked their claim on the 'serious' space; heroes with grim faces carved out of rock, pre-tantrum lip-wobble expressions lashed with rain. Where does this leave the X-Men? I'm sure I don't know anymore, because X-Men: Apocalypse attempts to be all things to all people and ends up being neither overtly fun or remotely serious, just entirely ridiculous. It feels like a superhero movie back from when no one really knew what that was supposed to mean, or, as a friend of mine put it so perfectly: "It's like a shit superhero movie from the nineties".

Review: A Hologram for the King

Posted by Ed Williamson at 10:30 on 20 May 2016
A Hologram for the King
If you're putting together a wall-mounted Hanks matrix, which I'm sure practically all of you are, pin A Hologram for the King somewhere in the gaping chasm between The Terminal and Cast Away. A man is adrift in a foreign land, and you wouldn't give a shit if he wasn't Tom Hanks. Hologram tries your patience a bit, but its leading man carries it, like he always bloody does.

Review: Everybody Wants Some!!

Posted by Ed Williamson at 23:00 on 10 May 2016
Everybody Wants Some!!
Plot is overrated, or so I heard Ethan Hawke tell Marc Maron recently. There's too much of it. Hawke comes from the theatre, where the spell cast by the actors being feet away from you means you can sit watching their interactions outside any framework of story and still go away happy as long as there was a drink at the interval. And so goes his buddy Richard Linklater's latest, in which nothing much happens but you liked it while it didn't.

10 things John Travolta looks like on his new poster

Posted by Ali Gray at 00:00 on 10 May 2016
10 things John Travolta looks like on his new poster
Sometimes movie posters just ask for it.

Review: Captain America: Civil War

Posted by Ali Gray at 14:00 on 05 May 2016
Captain America: Civil War
"So what is Vision?" I'm at the pub, still digesting Captain America: Civil War, and I've been caught off guard. "Well, he's... um...he's a, er... so Thor had this sort of bath, then Ultron, erm... You know the Mind Gem, th-..." Christ, I'm racking my brains and his first movie only came out a year ago. Marvel movies move pretty fast; if you don't re-watch regularly, or God forbid miss a movie, your pub trivia game will suffer. (My best guess: Vision is a space ghost fruit roll-up robot butler dressed by George at Asda). Civil War is the 13th movie in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and if you haven't been paying attention over the last eight years, you're going to find it really, really hard to keep up. The MCU doesn't slow down, doesn't pull its punches and doesn't really do 'Previously, on the Marvel Cinematic Universe..." It has unapologetically and unreservedly been constructed from the ground up for fans - and those fans are going to go bend-over-backwards apeshit crazy for Civil War, arguably the movie that the previous 12 have all been working towards.

No Hanksy-panky: the curiously sexless Tom Hanks

Posted by Ed Williamson at 14:30 on 04 May 2016
No Hanksy-panky: the curiously sexless Tom Hanks
In Tom Hanks's new film, A Hologram for the King, he has sex with a woman. Get in, my son! It's an actual sex scene with boobs and everything. As the United Kingdom's foremost Hanksologist, it occurred to me that I hadn't seen this before. (A proper Hanks sex scene, I mean: I've definitely seen boobs. No, you don't know her; it was when I was on holiday.) So why is this?

Man who saw Civil War to share definitive MCU rankings

Posted by Matt Looker at 07:00 on 03 May 2016
Man who saw Civil War to share definitive MCU rankings
"Just seen Captain America: Civil War. Need to revise my MCU rankings!!" a man promised his legions of Facebook friends this weekend and now the Internet has halted to a standstill awaiting what will surely be the definitive list of Marvel Cinematic Universe films, ordered by quality.

Review: Bastille Day

Posted by Matt Looker at 20:00 on 20 Apr 2016
Bastille Day
Will Idris Elba be Bond? Can he out-Bond Bond? Can Idris Elbond Bond the Bond Bond? Everyone's obsession with Idris becoming the next 007 (give it up - he's not too black, he's too old) has led to this film being treated like it’s his audition for the role just because he waves a gun around and runs about for a bit. And if it were that easy, they would have cast Elmer Fudd years ago. No, we need to treat this film on its own terms: as a slightly-better-than-generic action thriller with hilariously out-of-touch opinions about how social media works.

The new Now You See Me 2 poster is bullshit and here's why

Posted by Matt Looker at 07:00 on 20 Apr 2016
The new Now You See Me 2 poster is bullshit and here's why
Now You See Me 2 is the pub magic trick of movie sequels. No one asked to see your mate Steve attempt to pass a £10 note through the middle of a coin, and no one really cares either way, but there's something oddly fascinating about his insistence that it's going to blow your mind. And yet it always, inevitably, disappoints. Hey, let's talk about this film poster.

Alternate poster design for ensemble rom-com Bastille Day

Posted by Matt Looker at 07:00 on 19 Apr 2016
Alternate poster design for ensemble rom-com Bastille Day
OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: Another calendar date anthology film from director Garry Marshall sees the lives of four lovable singletons intersect as they search for love on the celebratory streets of Paris, against the backdrop of terrorist attacks and civil unrest. Tonight there's going to be fireworks!
Out this week
+X-Men: Apocalypse (12A)
Read our review | All articles
+A Hologram For The King (12A)
Read our review | All articles
+Sing Street (12A)
+Chicken (15)
+The Silent Storm (15)