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  • The House With A Clock In Its Walls

    Movie Review | Ali Gray | 18th September 2018

    Ugh. September. The worst month by some distance. Nothing good has ever happened in September. I checked history, which verified and confirmed: September is a dud. All the blockbusters are a distant memory, the big Christmas movies are too far away (see also: Christmas) and even the tiresome slog that is Oscar season has yet to get underway. That just leaves shitty geriaction movies where Denzel Washington kills people, horror movies that are too crap to save for Halloween and oddball movies that genuinely don't fit in anywhere else in the calendar. Mercifully, that last sub-genre occasionally yields surprising results, which is where The House With A Clock In Its Walls chimes in: it's not quite enough to salvage the September cesspool, but it is a fun kids' fantasy that does just about enough to distract you from the backslide into the arse end of the year.

  • 20 exciting and totally achievable ways the DC Universe can rebuild

    Movie Feature | Ali Gray | 17th September 2018

    The DC universe is broken. Henry Cavill is done with Superman. Ben Affleck is too goth even for Batman and reportedly wants an escape route. Wonder Woman accidentally became the most successful one and now all the men at the studio have no idea what to do with her. And Aquaman... exists. Forget whatever humanitarian crises the Fake News Media are pushing on you this week: we need to focus our efforts on figuring out how to fix these adult manbaby movie franchises, and STAT. These 20 ideas to fix the DCCU by yours truly are a start, but frankly, I'm not hearing anything coming from your end. Is this thing even on?

  • Analysing THE SHEER INSANITY of a day in the life of Mark Wahlberg

    Movie Feature | Ali Gray | 13th September 2018

    Mark Wahlberg is most unlike you or I. For starters, he's a rich and famous celebrity, who is so rich and famous and blessed with over-confidence he can get away with inventing hypothetical scenarios whereby he averts the terrorist attacks of 9/11 and face almost no backlash. His career trajectory is uniquely insane, running the full gamut from teenage thug to white rapper to underpants model to Hollywood actor to hamburger magnate. And despite his obvious handicap of looking permanently like he's not sure what floor his lift just stopped at, Wahlberg is inexplicably popular, not just with people who go and see movies with titles like 'Max Payne' and '2 Guns', but with actual, credible filmmakers like Paul Thomas Anderson, Martin Scorsese and James Gray. He's one of a select circle of actors - including Adam Sandler and Nicolas Cage - who can lurch from atrocious dreck to proper cinematic fare without even changing his facial expression.

  • A comprehensive timeline of Wesley Snipes trying to make Blade 4 happen

    Movie Feature | Matt Looker | 5th September 2018

    In 2012, the rights to Blade reverted back to Marvel, meaning that MCU head honcho Kevin Feige is able to finally achieve his original goal behind creating his cinematic universe in the first place: to greenlight and release Blade 4, starring a 56-year-old Wesley Snipes.

  • Marvel's Cine-CHAT-ic Universe: Thor (2011)

    Movie Feature | Matt Looker, Ali Gray, Becky Suter, Ed Williamson | 3rd September 2018

    Marvel's Cine-CHAT-ic Universe is back! After last covering Iron Man 2 back in... holy shit, November? It's been nearly a year? Ok, it's about time we brought this back to continue our efforts in discussing each of the MCU films in turn, now finishing before our NEW deadline of Avengers 4. That should be fine. Just fine. Quick, let's talk Thor!

  • So we've all just accepted that his actual name is 'Jed Mercurio', have we?

    TV Feature | Ali Gray | 31st August 2018

    I'm sure that you, like me, have been enjoying new BBC drama Bodyguard, starring a shooty-shooty man and a woman and some terrorists. Congratulations on your correct decision, because it is totally brilliant. I can't help but notice, however, that we are all apparently totally on-board with the creator's name: Jed Mercurio. That's right, is it? Jed Mercurio. First name Jed, last name Mercurio. Right. We're all fine with that. Just checking.

  • TIL: Tom Selleck and Jamie Foxx are rival avocado-farming neighbours

    Movie Feature | Matt Looker | 29th August 2018

    It sounds like it should be the plot of a terrible movie, or the basis for a terrible sitcom, but i promise you, it really is just terrible real life.

  • Am I Coen crazy: Raising Arizona (1987)

    Movie Feature | Matt Looker | 28th August 2018

    My casual, long-term project of watching all the Coen Brothers’ films in order has stepped up a gear after just one film thanks to finding out that The Big Lebowski is being re-released at the end of September for its 20th anniversary. And if I can’t time my retrospective to coincide with everyone else’s in that week then really I miss my only opportunity to make any of this appear relevant.

  • What if Ethan Hawke played ALL the superheroes? Huh? What happens then?

    Movie Feature | Ali Gray | 27th August 2018

    Indie actor Ethan Hawke caused shockwaves in the nerd community this week when he dared suggest that superhero movies are not as good as Ingrid Bergman movies. So, Ethan Hawke thinks we're a group of illiterate and reactionary morons, huh? BURN ETHAN HUNT TO THE GROUND.

  • "You keep your hands off those!" Extensive and comprehensive analysis on Phillip Schofield's greatest TV moment

    TV Feature | Ali Gray | 24th August 2018

    In which I spend several thousand words on the most excruciating 18 seconds of Phillip Schofield's professional career.