"But every Paul WS Anderson movie is a disaster movie!" I hear you cry. How very droll. Pompeii is indeed the first movie by director Anderson that's supposed to be a catastrophe - a further step away from sci-fi trash towards period drama following 2011's re-stab at The Three Musketeers. Titanic is the obvious template (love across a class divide against a backdrop of massive loss of human life), but Pompeii has more in common with your BBC1 Saturday afternoon adventure mini-series: it's a curiously bloodless affair, with pretty faces, mild peril, swords, sandals and really rather fetching costumes. Look at that image above and tell me you can't imagine the continuity guy announcing that the next thrilling episode of Pompeii is coming up after Final Score with Gabby and Garth. This is basically my way of telling you that it isn't very good.
Though I'm duty bound to pay him the amount of respect any ex-Bond is due, prepare yourselves for a theory that will change the way you look about Pierce Brosnan and the movies he makes. Sneak preview: it almost feels like he's not acting entirely for the love of the art-form.
I would have thought Eastwood would have wanted a title treatment that said 'glitz and glamour' or 'rhythm and swing', not 'five dollar blowie from a tramp in an alley'. I can't identify the font, but I bet that's a forced italic - and I'm pretty sure that's a stock Photoshop pattern overlay. The little hole in the top loop of the 'B' is literally driving me fucking cuckoo. THIS IS MY CURSE.
It's the news literally three of us have been waiting for: Mrs Doubtfire is finally getting a sequel, 21 years after the original terrified an entire generation. Join me as I speculate on the various different directions returning director Chris Columbus can take Mrs Doubtfire 2.
In related news, the trailer for Gone Girl is very interesting indeed, although the Fincher/Reznor/Ross trademark of cutting it to a cover is hardly original (see also: Radiohead's 'Creep' sung by the Vega Choir for The Social Network, Led Zeppelin's 'Immigrant Song' sung by Karen O for The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo). I'm not angry, David. Just pretentious.
Steve McQueen's Oscar-winning drama 12 Years A Slave was snubbed by esteemed MTV movie critics last night. Though it was nominated for Movie Of The Year, it was beaten by The Hunger Games: Catching Fire. Nominated star Chiwetel Ejiofor went home empty-handed, with the Best Male Performance awarded to industry veteran Josh Hutcherson for The Hunger Games: Catching Fire. Oscar-winning newcomer Lupita Nyong'o also missed out, with Best Female Performance going to Jennifer Lawrence for The Hunger Games: Catching Fire. To cap a miserable evening for Steve McQueen's movie, Chiwetel Ejiofor wasn't even nominated for Best Shirtless Performance.
Remember when Let The Right One In was all Americanised as Let Me In for a new subtitle-ignorant audience and everyone lost their shit? "How dare they take this awesome vampire movie and try to make an awesome vampire movie out of it!" the Internet screamed. Well, now they've done it again, but this time with real-life people acting on a small stage in front of a live audience. Is anyone outraged now? No, because this is theatre, darling. No one can be angry at theatre.
A superhero movie fan has expressed tremendous excitement regarding the simultaneous release of Captain America 3 and Batman Vs Superman on the 6th of May, 2016, claiming he "can't wait to see who wins", blissfully ignoring the fact that the event is still 756 days away and he could feasibly accomplish many life-changing things in that time.