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Review: Deadpool

Posted by Ali Gray at 23:30 on 11 Feb 2016
You like to talk about tough superhero gigs. Thor was a tough gig. Mixing magic and mythology with grit and realism. Not easy. Guardians Of The Galaxy was a tough gig. Introducing an entirely new bunch of rogues unrelated to any existing properties. Tricky. Deadpool, however, is quite literally a tough gig: stepping up on stage to make with the laughs after being designated the 'funny' superhero movie. Like it's the one movie that has special dispensation to say what we all really think about superhero movies. That's a tough gig. What we ask of Deadpool is the movie equivalent of people who ask comedians to tell them a joke: a request to be funny on demand, on on our terms.

Great news if you love orchestras and/or dinosaurs

Posted by Ali Gray at 17:48 on 10 Feb 2016
Great news if you love orchestras and/or dinosaurs
In news that is sure to sexually stimulate fans of both prehistoric land-mammals and honking great oboes, the Royal Albert Hall will play host to an exclusive live screening of Jurassic Park on 4-5 November, with J-Wills' superlative score provided by the not-too-shabby London Philharmonic Orchestra. Tickets are available from royalalberthall.com. The only way a screening of Jurassic Park could possibly get any better would be if they added actual live dinosaurs. I'm sure there's a downside I don't see.

The top 13 beards in 13 Hours

Posted by Ed Williamson at 23:30 on 04 Feb 2016
The top 13 beards in 13 Hours
13 Hours, as well as being a sensitive and measured critique of America's role as an interventionist force in the Middle East, draws keenly on the theme of beardedness. What does it mean to be a bearded man shooting stuff in a bloody great war, just as the Western male is becoming culturally feminised on a scale not seen since the noblesse of 17th-century France? This thing has so many layers.

Is this the biggest poster/synopsis mismatch currently on IMDB?

Posted by Matt Looker at 12:30 on 02 Feb 2016
Is this the biggest poster/synopsis mismatch currently on IMDB?
Get ready for the legalities around unverified ownership over residential properties to EXPLODE IN YOUR EYE SOCKETS.

Star Wars IX to be filmed "a long time ago" and "in a galaxy far, far away"

Posted by Matt Looker at 13:55 on 01 Feb 2016
Star Wars IX to be filmed "a long time ago" and "in a galaxy far, far away"
Following on from director Colin Trevorrow's recent revelation that he wants to film Star Wars Episode IX "in space", he has also just announced that he plans to make the film "a long time ago" and "in a galaxy far, far away" making it unclear at the moment whether or not he can tell the difference between reality and fiction.

Review: 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi

Posted by Matt Looker at 09:00 on 29 Jan 2016
13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi
A sunset bears down on an open field. Cloth rags blow in the wind. Two children run in slow motion through the long grass. A snag of material on a twig blows in the wind again. Oh, we're back to the sunset again, ok. Now some sheep are milling around for some reason. And now those children are running again. Aaand we're back to the sunset. Jesus Christ, Michael Bay, I get that you're using these establishing shots to build tension but it’s no wonder this film is 144 minutes long. This film should be 6-7 Hours: The Secret Soldiers Of Benghazi. 8 Hours: The Secret Soldiers Of Benghazi max.

Review: The Big Short

Posted by Ali Gray at 23:50 on 26 Jan 2016
The Big Short
"I have a feeling that in a few years, the banks are going to be doing exactly the same thing," says despondent financier Mark Baum (Steve Carell) as the world teeters on the brink of economic meltdown. "They're going to blame it on immigrants and poor people." The financial crisis of 2008 is mired in so much Wall Street-patented obfuscatory bullshit you need a shovel to get down to the nitty gritty, but Adam McKay's A-list crib sheet The Big Short boils it down to the essentials: the US banks committed the largest and most audacious case of fraud ever perpetrated at the cost of every man, woman and children in America - and they got away with it.

Review: The Revenant

Posted by Matt Looker at 07:00 on 25 Jan 2016
The Revenant
Poor Oscarless Leo. Just imagine the soul-crushing frustration that must come after enduring unimaginable feats of survival in the making of this film, only for everyone instead to talk about the (false) rumour that you get raped by a bear in it. Imagine having the fortitude of character to eat raw bison liver and climb inside a dead animal carcass for the sake of your art and then have all your efforts overshadowed by the collective public thinking that, at one point in the movie, a horny grizzly surprises you with a sexual ambush. And the worst part is, with all attention on that ridiculous story instead of Leo's dedication to his performance, it might actually cost him the Oscar. That bear might just end up fucking Leo after all.

Review: Room

Posted by Becky Mather at 14:00 on 21 Jan 2016
No internet and a TV that can only pick up a few analogue channels….no, not Christmas at my parents, but the world in which five-year-old Jack and his beloved Ma live. There’s also Bed, Lamp and Rug – the bits of furniture that Jack greets fondly every morning as most five-year-olds would greet their little mates at playschool, making his way around his 10 square-feet room, a space which would probably go for a premium price if it was in the right spot in London. To Jack, it’s the grand sum of his universe, but to Ma it’s the claustrophobic prison where she’s been kept captive as a sex slave for several years by a serial rapist. If you’re easily upset and/or of a sensitive disposition, you’re probably best off seeing Alvin & The Chipmunks: The Road Chip instead.

Breakdown: Things you missed in the Wonder Woman first-look footage

Posted by Matt Looker at 07:00 on 20 Jan 2016
Breakdown: Things you missed in the Wonder Woman first-look footage
The first glimpse of Wonder Woman in all her inequality-correcting, leather-bodice-wearing glory has been released and it is fascinating. Like the true geeks and film buffs with one-of-a-kind expert knowledge that we are, here’s a deep-dive into the footage with wild speculation about some things that may happen at some point in the film or indeed ever.
Out this week
+Deadpool (15)
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+Zoolander 2 (12A)
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+Jem And The Holograms (PG)
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+A Bigger Splash (15)
+Concussion (12A)