Because bustin' gender-prejudiced idiots who use Twitter as a platform for their own mindless misogyny makes me feel good.
Online discourse being what it is, the announcement of a reboot or remake is usually greeted with dread and resentment. It's sacrilege. Why can't they just leave it alone? How can a woman possibly carry a proton pack? But this ignores the recent evidence that Hollywood has now got the cheat codes for 'repurposing'. Jurassic World
, The Equalizer
: respect the original property but make something of its own hue. You have nothing to fear from reboots except a Kevin James Uncle Buck, so make your way with confidence to see Vacation.
Posted by Ali Gray
at 00:20 on 13 Aug 2015
Today I made a most unsettling discovery and now I'm sharing it with you in the vain hope that it'll make the madness I'm currently feeling feel less intense. I still almost can't believe it's true, despite photo evidence that appears to confirm it. No. It can't be right. It just can't be. I've seen Star Wars about 25 times and I never noticed this. Fuck off does C3PO have one silver leg.
The action hero has come a long way since the 60s. Once calm, unobtainable specimens of perfection have gradually morphed into tough, emotionally closed anti-heroes, and then into testosterone-fuelled musclemen, and now they're flawed and troubled characters in touch with their - ugh - feelings
. Superheroes are forever in search of their own life purpose (the clue is in the word 'superhero', guys), lone wolf cops have money worries, even Tom Cruise is now contractually obligated to have his character make at least one mistake in his movies. And James Bond cries now. He actually cries. So call it an adaptation, a rehash, another unoriginal concept in a Hollywoodland bereft of creativity, or whatever - The Man From U.N.C.L.E. is still one of the most refreshing action films you'll see this year.
Bel Powley is a very arresting and idiosyncratic actor, so expect to see her playing a superhero's girlfriend pretty soon. For now though, here she is in a fairly straightforward yarn about a teenage girl who has a bunch of sex. It has some good visual ideas and does a nice line in chiding you for forgetting the seediness of its main relationship, but none of this quite elevates it above a decent watch.
That is unless 'Temptress' REALLY feminisms the shit out of it.
The old Fantastic Four
films from 10 years ago are an embarrassment, aren’t they? All kid-friendly colours and CGI slapstick; they might as well be cartoons. It’s great then, that this – say it with me – gritty reboot
finally aims to give comics’ First Family the big-screen outing they deserve. A film that treats Stretchy Man, Rock Guy, Fire Boy and Invisi-Girl with due reverence and respect. A film that takes a realistic approach to dimension-hopping science and explores the seriousness of.. oh god, no, I can’t do it. Come back, Ioan Gruffudd, Jessica Alba, Chris Evans and, yes even you, Michael Chiklis’ foam fatsuit. All is forgiven.
Posted by Ali Gray
at 15:00 on 31 Jul 2015
Adam Sandler's latest movie Pixels
has lots of problems - the foremost being that it's an Adam Sandler movie - but its most heinous crime is surely the egregious waste of Jane Krakowski. The actress, who is by any measure the most comedically gifted of the entire Pixels cast, plays the First Lady to US President Kevin James and has approximately three lines in the entire movie (none of which are jokes). Pixels is a case study in how to waste funny women.
One of the many questions that spring to mind while watching Pixels - such as "Why doesn't any of this make any sense?" and "What would it take for Adam Sandler's tired Deputy Dawg face to register an iota of genuine emotion?" - is: Who is this film supposed to be for? As a PG movie packed full of fairly obscure 80s references, you can only assume that its core audience is nostalgic parents who won't mind it when, on the journey home afterwards, their child takes a brief pause from unpacking the latest expansion kit for their favourite immersive online RPG to ask: "What's a Donkey Kong?"
Yay for still images of characters we have already seen but in a different room and taken from a slightly different angle!
It is a sad fact that we now live in an age where the release of three photos of established characters from a forthcoming blockbuster movie constitutes as Internet-breaking news. Luckily, we...