In line with all the UK's other major news outlets, The Shiznit is declaring its stance on the EU Referendum. As a forward-looking, progressive website which is only racist behind closed doors and even then it's only a bit of fun, we urge you to vote to remain in the European Union. If you don't, the following truly awful film-related things will 100% definitely happen.
A new adult version of classic 80s movie Ghostbusters has drawn criticism from fans of the original for reimagining its main characters as female. Many have claimed that the new film, which sees its female stars engage in a number of explicit sexual acts with male 'ghosts', is a case of "feminism gone mad".
There is a superb moment of unintentional hilarity in Conjuring 2. Vera Farmiga's spirit medium wakes up in the morning to discover husband Patrick Wilson painting at an easel. "Did you suddenly feel inspired?" she asks tenderly. "I wouldn't call it inspiration exactly. It's just an image I haven't been able to get out of my head all morning" he nonchalantly replies, before turning the easel around to reveal a perfect close-up portrait of an evil demon nun with glowy eyes and fangs.
You probably learn more about how comedy works through watching a bad one than a good one. Not that that's much consolation when you've shelled out thirteen quid. The Boss isn't terrible, as anything with Melissa McCarthy in it would struggle to be, but it falls far enough short to be instructive.
Unlike Game Of Thrones, there are no tits and dragons in Warcraft: The Beginning. There are wizards with hipster beards, giant eagles and a progressive orc, though. And in an apt allegory of recent times, an invading horde trigger immigration anxiety amongst a bunch of white people. Rather than rinsing a failing health service and steal jobs, these invaders need mortal souls to… do something. I'm not quite sure. It's all a bit of a blur, to be quite honest with you. I really hope Duncan Jones doesn't read mid-level, sarcastic film blogs, because things are about to get orc-ward; Warcraft is an epic mess of a movie.
If you're putting together a wall-mounted Hanks matrix, which I'm sure practically all of you are, pin A Hologram for the King somewhere in the gaping chasm between The Terminal and Cast Away. A man is adrift in a foreign land, and you wouldn't give a shit if he wasn't Tom Hanks. Hologram tries your patience a bit, but its leading man carries it, like he always bloody does.
Forgive me for sounding like I'm on the company payroll, but have Marvel movies ruined superhero movies for everyone else? I fear they have. The Marvel Cinematic Universe made its own space in the superhero sphere; it owns the area marked 'fun'. DC, as a countermeasure to all the lousy fun everyone was enjoying, staked their claim on the 'serious' space; heroes with grim faces carved out of rock, pre-tantrum lip-wobble expressions lashed with rain. Where does this leave the X-Men? I'm sure I don't know anymore, because X-Men: Apocalypse attempts to be all things to all people and ends up being neither overtly fun or remotely serious, just entirely ridiculous. It feels like a superhero movie back from when no one really knew what that was supposed to mean, or, as a friend of mine put it so perfectly: "It's like a shit superhero movie from the nineties".
Plot is overrated, or so I heard Ethan Hawke tell Marc Maron recently. There's too much of it. Hawke comes from the theatre, where the spell cast by the actors being feet away from you means you can sit watching their interactions outside any framework of story and still go away happy as long as there was a drink at the interval. And so goes his buddy Richard Linklater's latest, in which nothing much happens but you liked it while it didn't.