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Marvel's Cine-CHAT-ic Universe: Iron Man (2008)

Posted by Ali Gray, Matt Looker, Becky Suter, Ed Williamson at 11:30 on 22 Sep 2017
Marvel's Cine-CHAT-ic Universe: Iron Man (2008)
Is it too late to change the name?

Review: Victoria And Abdul

Posted by Becky Suter at 09:00 on 21 Sep 2017
Victoria And Abdul
Shared universes are all the rage now. Marvel, DC, the Potterverse and now get this – there’s even a Royalverse, where Judi Dench is the same Queen Victoria in her new movie as she was in Mrs Brown. There’s even a Netflix spin-off series about her great-granddaughter. It’s crazy – where do they get these ideas? Regardless, in Victoria And Abdul, director Stephen Frears wants us to believe that a crotchety old queen, Empress of a country she never visited, is the most tolerant person in a time when society was decidedly un-woke. And it’s all because she wants some hot young D.

Review: Kingsman: The Golden Circle

Posted by Ali Gray at 21:30 on 20 Sep 2017
Kingsman: The Golden Circle
The first Kingsman movie made a stylish entrance at precisely the right time i.e. just as Bond movies were about to get rubbish again. Spectre would go on to prove that being a secret agent was no laughing matter, and absolutely no silly business would be tolerated; Kingsman, on the other hand, was of the opinion that spies just wanna have fun, grasping hold of Moonraker's blunt end with a nudge and a wink and performing a passable karaoke cover of the Moore era's kitschiest hits. Unfortunately, that included the era's sexist horseshit: Kingsman signed off with a jarring anal sex joke that - if you'll pardon the single entendre - left behind a sour taste. The sequel, Kingsman: The Golden Circle, is of the very same caliber as its predecessor, in that it is ostensibly a fun, colourful and occasionally inventive action flick, but one that is nonetheless torpedoed by an off-colour joke so brazen and shameless it defies belief.

Review: mother!

Posted by Ali Gray at 07:30 on 11 Sep 2017
mother!
I've had nightmares like mother!, proper sweat-drenched, bolt-upright air-gaspers that have left me shaken for hours. The ones where ordinary, mundane events turn hellish in an instant. The ones where your loved ones are there too but they're in on the bad juju, their blank faces betraying the feverish insanity you feel. Mother!, the new movie from Darren Aronofsky, is the closest a film has ever come to replicating one of those bad dreams; how quickly the drip-drip-drip of reason gushes into madness, how helpless we are in the face of our own demons and how it's always the ones we love that hurt us most. That exclamation mark in the title does not signify a comedy - it's the kind you see shortly before you plummet off a cliff.

20 reasons for Hollywood's worst summer in 20 years

Posted by Ali Gray at 18:00 on 08 Sep 2017
20 reasons for Hollywood's worst summer in 20 years
It's official: this summer was the worst summer for movies in over 20 years. Labor Day box-office receipts were down 45% compared to the same weekend in 2016, leaving analysts to declare summer 2017 a total cinematic washout. But why? I mean, obviously all the movies were terrible, but why really? We went in search of answers and by God, we found them.

Review: Terminator 2: Judgment Day 3D

Posted by Becky Suter at 07:00 on 31 Aug 2017
Terminator 2: Judgment Day 3D
3D movies are a bit like the T-1000: you can knock them down, but they will keep getting back up. Killing time until the Avatar sequels come out, James Cameron spent six months post-converting his 1991 classic to 3D, at the precise moment that major TV manufacturers announced they’re not going to make any more 3D TVs. You don’t need me to tell you that Terminator 2: Judgment Day is as close to perfect an action movie can get, so the question is: why bother with a rerelease? Fortunately the answer is simple: because it looks fricking awesome.

Review: American Made

Posted by Ed Williamson at 07:00 on 30 Aug 2017
American Made
I'm sorry, the old Tom Cruise can't come to the phone right now. Why? Oh, because he's DEAD.

What are the six best movies?

Posted by Ali Gray at 07:00 on 29 Aug 2017
What are the six best movies?
As a film fan, I often wonder what the best films are. Which ones are best? Which ones do people like? Are some films more liked than others? You have to admit, it's interesting. Films, I mean. Some are great, but others are just brilliant. Some are bad but most are okay. It's a wide spectrum. But what if there was some sort of ranking of the films? In order of quality. That's what I'm going to try right now. What are the best movies? Let's find out. What are the best ones. (Films)?

"Our horror movie title is terrible. Should we make the tagline worse to make it sound comparatively better?"

Posted by Ali Gray at 16:45 on 27 Aug 2017
"Our horror movie title is terrible. Should we make the tagline worse to make it sound comparatively better?"
Alternate suggestions: 'Evil just Shared your post', 'Evil just added you to Messenger', 'Evil is attending an Event in your area'.

Hot take: Martin Scorsese's Joker movie might be good but might also be bad, more as it develops

Posted by Ali Gray at 13:00 on 23 Aug 2017
Hot take: Martin Scorsese's Joker movie might be good but might also be bad, more as it develops
Two separate news stories broke in the same news story this morning. First, it was reported that Martin Scorsese would be producing a brand new '80s crime-era origin story for The Joker, with the role recast and the film unrelated to the nascent DC Cinematic Universe. Then, upon further scrutiny, it was discovered in the same report that Todd Phillips would be directing it. Oh. Right. Rough, meet smooth. Depending on how you frame it, this is either a savvy move from DC to decentralise their movie universe by putting legendary filmmaking talent at the centre of it, or it's an act of desperation from a studio who can't settle on a tone and can't even keep an actor interested in a role between one movie and the next. Which opinion is correct? Find out after these messages!
Out this week
+Kingsman: The Golden Circle (15)
Read our review
+Borg Vs McEnroe (15)
+In Between (15)
+On Body And Soul (18)