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Posted by Ali Gray
at 20:45 on 26 Oct 2013
So I was browsing new movie posters on the internet as usual, looking for something to belittle to make myself feel better, when I found a poster for a horror film called 'The Appearing'. As in a noun. Um... I think the word they were looking for was 'Apparition'. Except a film called The Apparition came out last year. It's official: there are no more cool-sounding words left to use in horror movie titles.
WWE setting up a film studio is a fairly natural progression. It's been a conveyor belt to throw stars like Stone Cold Steve Austin and John Cena into cash-in action films, and now here it is with splatterfest No One Lives, featuring a minor role for wrestler George Murdoch. Fine by me, but remember when the wrestlers would do those promos to camera where they shouted angrily about the bodily harm they were about to do their opponent? Well, imagine a film in which everyone spoke like that throughout, then at some point came face-to-face with their own small intestine. Yep, you're there.
late-night special was, on the surface, a glorious thing. Not only would the characters suddenly free themselves from the confines of decency that a pre-watershed airing imposed and begin to say words like "piss", there would also be a strong suggestion that you would see the breasts of the blondest cast member of the age. These goods were never delivered, but they do seem to have been the creative inspiration behind Gemma Atkinson's casting in The Dyatlov Pass Incident.
Den Of Geek present another night of scary stories from some of the UK's scariest storytellers - Paul Ross not included - and it's all to raise money for charity. Order your tickets now and enjoy a guilt-free Sunday.
Posted by Ali
at 10:00 on 18 Aug 2013
Posted by Rob
at 16:30 on 31 Jul 2013
Take one old farm house, the more secluded the better; throw in a close-knit family excited about their new dream home; if they've got a young daughter prone to imaginary friends then that's absolute perfection. Chuck in a few slamming doors and kids yanked from their beds and you've got the recipe for a chilling, if unoriginal horror movie.
At the screening of Maniac I attended, some journalist types were talking loudly beforehand about hanging prepositions. They were against them, and didn't care much for starting sentences with 'But', either. I resisted the temptation to interject with my view, which is that these tend to form ugly constructions but that arbitrary prohibitive attitudes towards grammar are the enemy of creativity. I don't want to antagonise anyone, after all. But anyway, Maniac is a film you should give a wide berth to.
Just as Rob is now The Shiznit's go-to guy for dance movies
, it seems I've somehow become the de facto horror critic around here. An unwise editorial decision at best: I'd only seen about six horror films before, and two of them were Ghostbusters in different aspect ratios. Here's a thing I've learned, though: there is a Spanish man called Guillermo del Toro who sneaks into edit bays and shoves his name in at the start of other people's films. But he seems to know his Spanish onions: Mama, the latest film he has credits-bombed, is pretty much triumphant from start to finish.
Everyone stop filming yourselves doing everything. It inevitably ends in your murder. Then someone will find the footage and make money off it while you're in the cold, cold ground. Even worse, the footage won't even comprise
a found footage movie: it'll end up being the footage someone finds in a found footage movie about people finding footage. And all people will ever say of you will be: "Sheesh, that guy sure went to great lengths to explain why he was filming himself."
Yes, I know he was in the Silent Hill games before he was in the movie. Still, I bet he reeks of cheddar.
Posted by Ali
at 12:00 on 01 Nov 2012
It irritates the hell out of me when people use obviously fake computers in movies. A black screen with green text like it's 1982. A free-typed database command like 'FIND ALL GUNSHOT VICTIMS IN SAN DIEGO'. An analogue beep as a search engine returns its results. So I am delighted to report that in horror movie Sinister
, Ethan Hawke uses realistic search terms in Google. He talks to people on iChat. He uses real commands on dropdown menus, moves stuff to his recycle bin, and encodes video into .mov files. How scary is the film? Um ... it's ... did I mention how good the computer bits are?