Terribrill: Masters Of The Universe

Forget '80s nostalgia: I don't think there was EVER a time when making a live-action He-Man movie was considered a good idea. The kids cartoon - which, let's face it, none of us have watched in decades for fear of discovering just how shoddy and completely balls it actually was - is basically the same dumb story, over and over. The characters are barely even one-dimensional: there's a bowl-cutted himbo with a big sword who's constantly fighting an angry skeleton to save a sorceress dressed like a peacock. Why? Because kids are idiots, that's why. They'll sit open-mouthed and gawp at this stupid shit every Saturday morning, so it stands to reason they'd pay good pocket money to go see the movie, too.