Review: The Amazing Spider-Man

But they DO make them like they used to. That's sort of my whole point. Had they completely reinvented it, I'd have been okay with it.

"Younger viewers, too young even to be taken to Spider-Man 3 in 2007, might enjoy it much more than I. At some point, it was inevitable that the superhero genre would no longer be pitched solely at overgrown children like me. I have no problem with that, just as I have no problem with any movie aimed at an audience that doesn't include me. But..."

Nope, no buts...
You should have ended your review RIGHT THERE!
To go any further, you sound like someone's dad saying, "They just don't make 'em like they used to".
They certainly don't and they shouldn't. If you can't stand movies playing exclusively to a younger audience, you're in for a miserable future! Just imagine what you're in for 10-20 years from now!

I thought The Amazing Spider Man was perfect for the emo-twilight generation. And just like you, I'm sure they will hate the next reboot due to arrive a few years from now, when they aim for the NEXT generation.
Personally, I loved that Spidey was mostly seen swingin' in the dark, and I didn't have to tolerate that J. Jonah Jameson. And for once, someone orchestrated a stunning way to feature Stan Lee's obligatory cameo.
To me, he looks more like Ditko's version of the web-slinger, and that slow-mo shot of the iconic pose (at the end) alone was worth the price of admission.

How did they retcon his webshooters? As a science whiz, he invented webfluid & spider-tracers before he's out of his teens. How does a sk8rboi do this? Please don't say they went down the "organic" webshooters route.

From what I understand from the review, Gwen find's out that Parker is Spider-Dude at some point - another sacrosanct part of the Spider-Man canon is that Peter is too scared to tell her about his secret identity, and *she is thrown to her death * simultaneously hating Spider-Man for his role in the death of her father, and loving Peter Parker. This dichotomy is something that haunts Peter for years afterwards.

The Lizard always tends to go on a rampage as it's the "reptile part" of the human brain rebelling against the "mammalian" part - or at least that's what it says here. Would be interesting to know if they have his son in the film, as most of the more interesting dynamics about the Lizard, is the human "protect-my-son" instinct, battling the reptillian "eating-offspring-to-retain-dominance" part.

Not interesting enough? Can't put it into 3D? No one will notice? Cut it from the screenplay

Sounds like I'm totally justified in not watching this film. I've been reading Spider-Man for the last 25 years - I know his origin. Hell, everyone knows his origin and I'll be fucked if Sony & Disney force-feed another sack of "fuck-your-childhood-memories" down my throat

I wrote this over a couple of hours, so I have no idea a) what I was trying to say and b) whether what I've said makes sense.

Roll on "Supercrooks"

Edited at 15:26 on 06/07/12

Nah.

Surely the whole point of Spider-Man being so awesome is that he's the nerdy kid that everyone picks on? Not just a slight outsider?

Agree with the left-hand column. It failed to deliver a reason for its existence. Right-hand column: I think it's pretty good overall; certainly better than Spider-Man 3.

Point about Lizard's motivation is true though: I couldn't figure out where his malevolence came from. Just wanted to grow himself an arm; no reason why he couldn't just sit in the sewers and do his experiments, and you're never told why he starts rampaging all over the shop when he turns into the Lizard.

I'm not sure they were even attempting to set Parker up as a geek though, more just a slight outsider, so I have no problem with Garfield's uber-handsomeness etc. He just got beaten up once by one douchebag jock; he's not being picked on by everyone and bullied every day.

Brilliant review! I saw it yesterday, dubbed in german and in useless 3D, but well, it was a good entertainment with a few good jokes but I don't think it even reaches the level of X-Men. I really liked Andrew Garfield but come on, why insist that he should be in high school?! He's barely seen there, just send him to college or something. Also, I didn't know Martin Sheen would be Ben and...nope, not buying it. And there was an Inappropriate Use of A Coldplay Song (or ersatz), brrr.

You reminded me of Spidey 2 where he's lying on the train, half dead, and they lift him and carry him and he's just a kid... and *wells up*

I don't care if it's hokey, it gives me goosebumps. I cannot see this film giving me anything except a tension headache.