Review: Twilight

The only possible benefit crap like this might have would be if it gets Let The Right One In more attention.

All comments are gone? Bollocks. Say goodbye to the Jackass thread, surely our finest hour of comedy.

Nice review, but fuck this movie.
Since when did Vampires become pasty vegetarian emo teens? I want bestial, snarling vicious predators that thrive and are excited by being a vampire - not these mopey lingering-gaze High School Musical motherfuckers.
Near Dark - that's the kind of vampires I want to see, 30 Days of Night - that's the kind of vampires I want to see.
Creatures that revel in being Alpha Hunters and don't get all angsty about it.
Vegetarian vampires, I mean *really*, come the fuck on.
I blame Anne Rice for creating a legion of these fey wussy character types.
Vampires should be devious, seductive, immoral carnal creatures of wanton destruction who delight in toying with humans as nothing more than walking take-aways.

Sorry but I'm annoyed that vampires have become the refuge of fat miserable girls who wear DM's doused in patchouli oil and think wearing velvet fucking cloaks will solve anything.
Tim Burton, Anne Rice & Twilight - the root of all things wank with vampires and "gothic horror"

I'm sure I'll get dragged to this but I have to say it doesn't look all that bad. Sulky pale-faced teens I can handle; it's shit-eyed bling-bling Bratz-type shit I can't abide.

Can't stand the girl in it though. She's fucking miserable in everything she's in. Took me a while to realise she wasn't actually a boy in Panic Room.