Rob

Review: Journey 2: The Mysterious Island

Michael Caine has had a long, glittering career spanning five decades. He's been nominated for an Academy Award in every decade since the 1960s. He's even a Knight of The Realm. The man truly is an icon of British cinema. Surely, though, flying a giant bee and high-fiving The Rock has to be his greatest achievement to date.

Review: Man On A Ledge

Go into this cold turkey and you could be forgiven for thinking Man On A Ledge is a contemporary commentary on the current state of the economy. Let's look at the evidence, shall we? It's set in New York, there are mentions of "this economy" followed by tutting, Ed Harris wears a sharp suit and smokes cigars like a boss (lit with $100 bills I hope ) and, oh, there's a bloke perched on a ledge threatening to throw himself off.

Review: Goon

Ice hockey sits pretty atop my 'If I was an American high-schooler, I'd definitely think about playing it' list. Unfortunately, Hollywood doesn't appear to share my enthusiasm for needless icy bloodlust. There have been plenty of American football, baseball and basketball movies, but when it comes to ice hockey, what do we have? Slap Shot? That's 35 years old. The Mighty Ducks? Pfft, Goon would smash its teeth in and down a beer in celebration.

Review: New Year's Eve

New Year's Eve; the one night of the year when you feel obliged to have fun, but if truth be told, you usually can't be arsed. Fittingly, that's how Garry Marshall's follow-up to Valentine's Day makes you feel.

Review: Machine Gun Preacher

Machine Gun Preacher: with a title like that, you'd expect a Grindhouse-esque, ultra-violent B-movie about a muscle-bound preacher with ripped sleeves, standing atop a pile of bodies, brandishing a huge gun, maybe with a cigar hanging out of his mouth, topped off with a killer catchphrase. "Pray for mercy," he'd say. Or something like that.

Review: Everything Must Go

If Will Ferrell isn’t careful, people will start mistaking him for one of those proper actors. On his IMDb filmography, nestled between comedies inevitably starring John C. Reilly, you’ll find the likes of Melinda & Melinda and Stranger than Fiction. Proof, that when not running around in his pants screaming and shouting and generally being a bit much, the guy can do serious.

Review: Don't Be Afraid of The Dark

Let's get this out the way from the off, shall we? I find most horror movies all a bit 'samey' - more often than not, it'll be a dull, repetitive case of count the clichés. Needless to say, it's not my favourite genre. But would this remake of the 1973 made-for-TV horror change my stance on the scary movie? In short; no, even if Guillermo del Toro is 'presenting'. [What a horrible image - Ed]

Review: 30 Minutes Or Less

So back in 2003, a poor Pennsylvanian pizza guy was forced to rob a bank with a bomb strapped around his neck. Needless to say, the end result wasn't pretty... it's on YouTube if you're into that kinda thing.

Review: The Change-Up

Ah, the ol' body switcharoo routine – the calling card of a writer short on ideas. Having featured in (*glances quickly at Wikipedia*) 38 different movies (!), it's safe to say the body swap schtick has been well and truly done to death.

Review: Zookeeper

For a brief time there, Kevin James had potential; when his bumbling fat guy routine was sweet and charming, not depressing and pathetic. But then he fell in with Adam Sandler. Now he's trapped churning out this kind of monkey crap while Sandler sits back and counts his money. Yeah, Kevin James is totes the new Rob Schneider.