Rob

News, Reviews & Features

Goon

Movie Review | Rob | 2nd January 2012

Ice hockey sits pretty atop my 'If I was an American high-schooler, I'd definitely think about playing it' list. Unfortunately, Hollywood doesn't appear to share my enthusiasm for needless icy bloodlust. There have been plenty of American football, baseball and basketball movies, but when it comes to ice hockey, what do we have? Slap Shot? That's 35 years old. The Mighty Ducks? Pfft, Goon would smash its teeth in and down a beer in celebration.

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New Year's Eve

Movie Review | Rob | 8th December 2011

New Year's Eve; the one night of the year when you feel obliged to have fun, but if truth be told, you usually can't be arsed. Fittingly, that's how Garry Marshall's follow-up to Valentine's Day makes you feel.

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Machine Gun Preacher

Movie Review | Rob | 2nd November 2011

Machine Gun Preacher: with a title like that, you'd expect a Grindhouse-esque, ultra-violent B-movie about a muscle-bound preacher with ripped sleeves, standing atop a pile of bodies, brandishing a huge gun, maybe with a cigar hanging out of his mouth, topped off with a killer catchphrase. "Pray for mercy," he'd say. Or something like that.

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Everything Must Go

Movie Review | Rob | 13th October 2011

If Will Ferrell isn’t careful, people will start mistaking him for one of those proper actors. On his IMDb filmography, nestled between comedies inevitably starring John C. Reilly, you’ll find the likes of Melinda & Melinda and Stranger than Fiction. Proof, that when not running around in his pants screaming and shouting and generally being a bit much, the guy can do serious.

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Don't Be Afraid of The Dark

Movie Review | Rob | 3rd October 2011

Let's get this out the way from the off, shall we? I find most horror movies all a bit 'samey' - more often than not, it'll be a dull, repetitive case of count the clichés. Needless to say, it's not my favourite genre. But would this remake of the 1973 made-for-TV horror change my stance on the scary movie? In short; no, even if Guillermo del Toro is 'presenting'. [What a horrible image - Ed]

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30 Minutes Or Less

Movie Review | Rob | 14th September 2011

So back in 2003, a poor Pennsylvanian pizza guy was forced to rob a bank with a bomb strapped around his neck. Needless to say, the end result wasn't pretty... it's on YouTube if you're into that kinda thing.

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The Change-Up

Movie Review | Rob | 11th September 2011

Ah, the ol' body switcharoo routine – the calling card of a writer short on ideas. Having featured in (*glances quickly at Wikipedia*) 38 different movies (!), it's safe to say the body swap schtick has been well and truly done to death.

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Zookeeper

Movie Review | Rob | 28th July 2011

For a brief time there, Kevin James had potential; when his bumbling fat guy routine was sweet and charming, not depressing and pathetic. But then he fell in with Adam Sandler. Now he's trapped churning out this kind of monkey crap while Sandler sits back and counts his money. Yeah, Kevin James is totes the new Rob Schneider.

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Christ The Redeemer: 2011's favourite returning character

Movie Feature | Rob | 13th June 2011

With several movies this year opting for the warmer climes of Rio De Janeiro, with its skimpy beach-wear, jive-talking animals and steep-ass hills The Rock can get some air off in his jeep, Christ The Redeemer is the latest Hollywood darling.

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Arthur

Movie Review | Rob | 22nd April 2011

How you choose to take this remake of Dudley Moore's 1981 classic hinges entirely on your tolerance for a certain Russell Brand. Granted, his Arthur 2.0 is a slightly toned-down version of himself, and the pelvic thrusts, sex-mad antics, swearing and prank calls to aging comedians are at a minimum, but if you outright don't like the bloke, a top hat, tails and a cane is hardly going to change that.

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