Blogalongabond #16: Licence To Kill


2nd May 2012

The good news: our Licence To Kill Blogalongabond entry is only one day two days overdue, yay! The bad news: it is easily the worst piece of crap I have ever produced in my life - and that includes during the hazy few days after I tried to convince everyone 'Steakchoctoberfest' was a real festival, and had to be loaded onto a stretcher using a crane, like some sort of grotesque human pinata. Never again.

If The Living Daylights was an attempt to dispatch with the camp silliness of Moore-era Bond, then Licence To Kill was an embarrassing no-scope to the balls. In Dalton's second (and final) outing we're given a Bond almost unhinged by a lust for revenge; willing to carry out elaborate acts of torture to get his point across. The original cut was so violent that the BBFC and MPAA requested numerous changes to avoid awarding an 18 certificate - potentially damaging to the reputation of a beloved character, as well as box office takings. To get a hint of how barbaric Dalton's Bond turned out, even after securing a 15: at one point Bond pushes a perfectly unconscious and helpless henchman into the sea. From a moving plane.

But anyway the game. I haven't had much free time this month, which will become evident when you scroll down to the thing embedded below. It's fair to say I am not a 'graphics guy' - although in my defence the code is pretty solid. Except for the timer, it's not accurate for some reason. Also Bond slides about a little bit. OK look I hacked it together in a couple of lunchtimes. At least it's broken for everyone in the same way, so that makes it a totally level playing field, right?

Blogalogabond is a monthly celebration of all things James Bond, run by friend of the site The Incredible Suit (aka Neil Alcock). Each month showcases the next Bond film in the series, hopefully coinciding with the release of the 23rd Bond movie, Skyfall. You can follow Neil on twitter here, or the official Blogalongabond feed here.

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