If 2013's Oscar-nominated movie posters told the truth

Have we all processed the 2013 Oscar nominations yet? Still fuming about Paul Thomas Anderson's snub? Furious that Skyfall didn't get a Best Picture nod? Sarcasm is what you need. Lovely, sneering sarcasm. Here's what this year's Oscar-nominated movies' posters would say if they could be honest just for one goddamn minute.
Lincoln
Nominated for: Best Picture, Best Director (Steven Spielberg), Best Actor (Daniel Day-Lewis), Best Supporting Actor (Tommy Lee Jones), Best Supporting Actress (Sally Field), Best Adapted Screenplay


Django Unchained
Nominated for: Best Picture, Best Supporting Actor (Christoph Waltz), Best Original Screenplay


The Master
Nominated for: Best Actor (Joaquin Phoenix), Best Supporting Actor (Philip Seymour Hoffman), Best Supporting Actress (Amy Adams)


Argo
Nominated for: Best Picture, Best Supporting Actor (Alan Arkin), Best Adapted Screenplay


Life Of Pi
Nominated for: Best Picture, Best Director (Ang Lee), Best Adapted Screenplay


Les Misérables
Nominated for: Best Picture, Best Actor (Hugh Jackman), Best Supporting Actress (Anne Hathaway)


Beasts Of The Southern Wild
Nominated for: Best Picture, Best Director (Benh Zeitlin), Best Actress (Quvenzhané Wallis), Best Adapted Screenplay


Silver Linings Playbook
Nominated for: Best Picture, Best Director (David O Russell), Best Actor (Bradley Cooper), Best Actress (Jennifer Lawrence), Best Supporting Actor (Robert De Niro), Best Supporting Actress (Jacki Weaver), Best Adapted Screenplay


Zero Dark Thirty
Nominated for: Best Picture, Best Actress (Jessica Chastain), Best Original Screenplay


Amour
Nominated for: Best Picture, Best Director (Michael Haneke), Best Actress (Emmanuelle Riva), Best Foreign Language Film, Best Original Screenplay


The Sessions
Nominated for: Best Actress (Helen Hunt)


Flight
Nominated for: Best Actor (Denzel Washington), Best Original Screenplay


Take that, billion dollar industry! Please clear away your plate and tip your waiter because YOU JUST GOT SERVED. (Maybe not that last one).

If you would like to share these posters on your site, be a dear and just replicate a selection and not the whole collection - and leave the watermark on, if you please. If you are interested in acquiring high resolution, un-watermarked versions for publication in print or online, drop me an email.