Feature

Is everyman Martin Freeman actually EVERY man?

Ed Williamson

4th January 2012

Martin Freeman, we are told in every review of everything he's ever been in, from the BBC's Sherlock to his local Mecca Bingo, is an everyman. But is he ...? (*tension music*)

As much of an everyman as Martin Freeman is, he can't possibly be every man. It would get confusing. There must be some men that he isn't, surely. Richie Sambora, for one. Or Cat Stevens - I'm pretty sure he's not Cat Stevens. But how to know for certain?

Are there men whom Freeman is not? If so, who are they? Why is he not them? And who's trying to cover it up? We attempted to find out through a combination of guile, subterfuge, bravery and ... look, I'll level with you, we just Photoshopped his head onto some other people's.
Is Martin Freeman ... Max Headroom?


Yes.
Is Martin Freeman ... the Most Reverend Dr Rowan Williams, Archbishop of Canterbury?


Yes.
Is Martin Freeman ... the Goss twins from Bros?


Yes.
Is Martin Freeman ... Koko B. Ware?


Yes.
Is Martin Freeman ... E. Honda from Streetfighter II?


Yes.
Is Martin Freeman ... Judge John Deed?


Yes.
Is Martin Freeman ... Mario Balotelli?


Yes.
Is Martin Freeman ... Yuri Gagarin?


Yes.
I stand corrected. Martin Freeman is, as it turns out, every man. Are you a man? Then Martin Freeman is you. Are you a woman? Um ... can I have your phone number? Hello? HELLO?

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