The Last Stand vs Bullet To The Head: who's the ultimate action OAP?

They're grumpy! They're old! Their muscles ache! But they're movie stars, damn it! After their two Expendables team-building exercises, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are going head to head in early 2013 with competing action movies: The Last Stand and Bullet To The Head. We square them off against one another by putting a little 'vs' between their pictures. That's how it works, right?

Released: 25 January, 2013 (UK).	Released: 1 February, 2013.
Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger.	Starring: Sylvester Stallone.
Age: 65.	Age: 66.
Official synopsis: "A drug cartel leader busts out of jail and speeds to the Mexico border, where the only thing in his path is a sheriff and his inexperienced staff."	Official synopsis: "After watching their respective partners die, a cop and a hitman form an alliance in order to bring down their common enemy."
Unofficial synopsis: Arnie's back!	Unofficial synopsis: Sly's still back!
Supporting cast: Forest Whitaker (coasting), Luis Guzmán (ethnic), Johnny Knoxville (wut) and Peter Stormare (foreign).	Cast: Jason Momoa (Conany), Christian Slater (dead), Sung Kang (fast, furious) and Adewal-... Adewale Akinn-... Adewale Akinnuoye-... Mr Eko (Lost).
Surprisingly ace director: Jee-woon Kim (I Saw The Devil, The Good, The Bad & The Weird).	Surprisingly ace director: Walter Hill (Red Heat, The fuckin' Warriors).
Just show me the damn trailer:	I would also like to watch this trailer:
Most clichéd line: It's a toss up between "We have a situation!" and "Should be a quiet week!"	Most clichéd line: "This'll be the last time. I'll never do this again."
It's funny because he's old because: He can't jump through plate glass windows like he used to! He's seen some horrors! He straight-up says "I'm old!"	It's funny because he's old because: He listens to music from the 20th century! He thinks records still get made, even though they do! He's vaguely racist!
Does he sound like Werner Herzog? Yes.	Does he sound like Werner Herzog? Yes, when drunk.
Potentially embarrassing still:	Potentially embarrassing still:
Does he look his age? Yes. The waistband on Arnie's trousers looks to be certified above belly-button height. No shirtless shot either, so we can assume the man-boobs cultivated in political office still remain.	Does he look his age? No. Stallone looks like a 30 year-old gym freak wearing a Stallone mask. It's a little disconcerting but, damn, dem abs. He still has weird nipples, though.
Could he beat his release-week competitors in a fight? Daniel Day-Lewis in Lincoln. Osama bin Laden in Zero Dark Thirty. Tough bout but I'd pay to see it.	Could he beat his release-week competitors in a fight? Bill Murray in Hyde Park On Hudson. Ashley Jensen in All Stars. They're not likely to be in Expendables 3.
Line in trailer that serves as potential indicator to post-retirement career of star:	Line in trailer that serves as potential indicator to post-retirement career of star:
Does the title sound like a Rage Against The Machine song? A bit. But it isn't. I googled to check. And now I'm listening to Rage Against The Machine.	Does the title sound like a Rage Against The Machine song? Yes. I'm guessing they couldn't afford the rights for it, though. No problem acquiring Foreigner, though.
Token totty posing in an incredibly uncomfortable-looking position: Genesis Rodriguez does the can-can.	Token totty posing in an incredibly uncomfortable-looking position: Sarah Shahi dropped her toothpick.
What to say: "It's a bold gambit from Schwarzenegger to move back into the action arena at his age, but his eight years in political office - not to mention his 20 years as the world's biggest movie star - should hold him in good stead for the role of a lawman who is the last line of defence. He's in good hands working with Jee-woon Kim."	What to say: "Holy shit brah, Stallone and that Conan guy totally have an AXE FIGHT! And then the dude from Fast & Furious is all like, yo, can we listen to some fuckin' RAP music, you know? Cos Stallone is all OLD and shit, listening to music from the EIGHTIES. Fuck it dude, let's smoke a bowl and watch EXPENDABLES again."
Likeliness of it being even halfway as good as, say, True Lies: Fair (but only halfway).	Likeliness of it being even halfway as good as, say, Demolition Man: Slim (but what movie could compare?).