This Week's TV Films 04/10/10

Welcome back. We’ve got a few more films for your viewing pleasure – they’re free and if anyone starts texting or asking banal questions, you can throw them out of the room with impunity. Yes, Dad, this includes you.

Pick of The Week:
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
Wednesday, E4, 9:00pm
Our arbitrary star rating: 4/5
Plot: A charming smartarse decides to bunk off school, and he's going to make the most of it. He’s the kid we all wanted to be or be with. He’s Ferris freaking Bueller.

Why you should watch: Because I'm fairly sure everyone has faked illness to get out of school at some point and promptly had a fantastic time. And now those days are a long forgotten memory, buried under responsibility and having a job.

The internet coughed up this marvelous tribute video, which we’re confident would appeal to Ferris’ vanity.

Of course if that’s not your kind of thing, there’s also:

A Classic / Leftfield Dead Actor Tribute
The Great Race
(Sunday Channel Five, 1.40pm)
With the sad news of Tony Curtis’ passing last week, there was the little silver lining that comes with the loss of any great actor; we get a run of their movies in memoriam.
Sure we all expected to see Some Like It Hot, Spartacus, or The Defiant Ones – all excellent movies in their own genres. Instead, Channel Five pull a little-watched goodie out of their pocket in the form of The Great Race.

This spectacularly lavish race caper is definitely a fore-runner to The Wacky Races. In it, wealthy daredevil and playboy The Great Leslie (Curtis) and his pathetic nemesis and Dick Dastardly prototype Professor Fate (Jack Lemmon) enter a round the world race in order to promote a car or something. The plot’s not really the thing here; what you’re watching for is the marvellous acrobatic large-scale fistfight, pie-fight and sword fight. Also starring Natalie Wood and Peter Falk, The Great Race is a tonne of fun, cartoonish and a perfect innocent matinee film. Get a giant bowl of popcorn and some beers in and enjoy.

A Film That's Awful
Van Helsing
(Thursday, ITV2, 11:20pm)
Oh dear. How the vampire obsession of today ever survived this is beyond me. Hugh Jackman turns what could have and should have been an awesome character into a campy musclebound hunter of unconvincing CGI beasties. It is every bit as dreadful as it sounds, although it is good for a laugh if you like mocking bad movies while you watch them.
Also on this week: 4th - 10th October
Monday
Enter The Dragon (Fiver USA, 10:55pm)

Tuesday
Rush Hour (Five USA, 9pm)
Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (ITV4, 9pm)
House of Sand & Fog (BBC1, 11:05pm)

Wednesday
The Full Monty (Film4 9pm)
Hellboy (Fiver, 9pm)
Big Trouble in Little China (Film4 10.35pm)
Bucket List (ITV2, 12:45am)

Thursday
On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (ITV4, 6.10pm)
Kiss Of The Dragon (Channel 5, 9pm)
Matrix Revolutions (ITV1, 10.35pm)

Friday
Full Metal Jacket (ITV4, 10:00pm)
The Thin Red Line (More4 10.00pm)
American Pie Presents Band Camp (ITV1, 10.35pm)

Saturday
Calamity Jane (Channel Five, 1.30pm)
Police Academy 4: Citizens On Patrol (ITV1, 1:50pm)
Die Hard 4.0 (Channel 4, 9.15pm)
The Getaway (BBC2, 11.50pm)

Sunday
The ‘Burbs (ITV4, 9pm)
Looking For Eric (Channel 4, 9pm)