Top 20 Crazy Bastards


4th October 2007

Top nutjobs 15-11! <<<

10. BRUCE WAYNE in the BATMAN movies
Proof that too much money really does go to your head, billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne chose a fitting name for his crime-fighting alter-ego, given that he's 100% batshit crazy. When he's not stepping out with supermodels or showering in dollar bills, Bruce likes nothing better than to dress up in a tight-fitting black leather costume, hit the streets, string up hoodlums and make intimidating shapes on the walls of Gotham city. If this was normal behaviour for a billionaire, then Bill Gates would be covered in bruises. Even though Batman has enemies like The Joker (a man with a manic laugh and a penchant for toys) and The Scarecrow (a loon with a bag over his head), the Dark Knight still comes off as the craziest. A lengthy stay in Arkham Asylum is surely on the cards.
Moment of Madness: Oh, I don't know, maybe the whole 'dressing up as a giant bat to fight crime' thing.

Hannibal Lecter has immaculate credentials; he's witty, well-spoken and has forgotten more about literature, history, psychology and cooking than most of us will ever learn in three lifetimes. So why is he on this list? He likes to eat people and wear their faces. On the surface, Hannibal doesn't look like a cannibal, except perhaps for his tubby little belly and abundance of cookbooks. Push him further, however, and you'll see true madness behind his eyes as he regales you with stories of how he had "an old friend for dinner". Brian Cox played Lecter as a quiet, cold and calculating killer, but Anthony Hopkins played him as a wild-eyed psycho who sounded like a misfiring carburettor. Only then did Lecter become the kind of unparalleled fruit loop that's seen him voted cinema's most memorable villain.
Moment of Madness: That inexplicable 'ththththth' noise.

Political correctness and international diplomacy aside, everyone knows there's no one more fucked up than the Japanese - vending machine panties and tentacle porn are just the beginning. Take director Takashi Miike's Ichi The Killer, for example, a movie so violent in makes Hostel look like Dunston Checks In. We follow the antics of Ichi, a young S&M fan who's been manipulated to the point where he confuses sexual arousal with homicidal lust - Ichi engages in torture as pornography and even bursts into fits of tears when the deed is done. Kitted out in his rubber stuntman suit (complete with razors in the heels of his shoes), he stabs, slices and cries his way through the movie, leaving the mangled corpses of men, women and children in his path. Ichi is only rivalled by Britney Spears in the lost marbles stakes.
Moment of Madness: Killing a prostitute and giving Eli Roth a boner.

Every mob worth its salt has a quota of stereotypes to fulfill. There's the dignified and reserved boss, who runs the game like the olden days; there's the clean-cut new guy struggling with his morals; there's the jittery guy who'll most likely be a rat; and there's the psycho. Tommy Devito is Goodfellas' sociopath; a real livewire, a man who thinks nothing of unloading his .45 into any punk who disrespects him (or, in the absence of firearms, beats the living shit out of them with whatever's laying around). Alarmingly at ease with the disposal of bodies ("What, is it the first hole I dug? Where's the fuckin' shovels?") Tommy shoots first and makes wisecracks later, but it's this casual disregard for human life that causes the powers that be to have him 'made'. As in, 'made into compost'. Still, he's a funny guy.
Moment of Madness: Shooting Christopher from The Sopranos for giving him sass.

Gary Oldman is the psycho's psycho, a man who missed the sanity bus long ago and has been lolloping around like a fucking nutcase on screens ever since. No other actor can match the quality of maniacs on his CV: pick a part, any part and you can guarantee it'll be a spittle-drenched, neck-twitching tour de force in unparalleled insanity. Think pill-popping dirty cop Stansfield in Leon; think intergalactic space bastard Zorg in The Fifth Element; think drug-guzzler Sid Vicious in Sid & Nancy; think dreadlocked wigger Drexl in True Romance; think Count Fucking Dracula - utter fruit bats, each and every one of them. Something about Oldman's sharp, angular face, beady eyes and 'Evil Spock' goatee says 'Villain for hire!' and it seems no one is Hollywood can turn him down. Well... would you?
Moment of Madness: Appearing in Bram Stoker's Dracula opposite Keanu Reeves. Terrifying.

Top nutjobs 5-1! >>>

Follow us on Twitter @The_Shiznit for more fun features, film reviews and occasional commentary on what the best type of crisps are.
We are using Patreon to cover our hosting fees. So please consider chucking a few digital pennies our way by clicking on this link. Thanks!

Share This