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TOP 20 WORST CASTING DECISIONS EVER
LOST DOWN THE BACK OF THE CASTING COUCH
 Every once in a while, a face pops up in a movie and peers directly into your soul. The panicked eyes and the awkward body language all scream one thing: “I don’t belong here!” Poor casting is rife throughout Hollywood, but truly woeful casting decisions can make a bad movie live forever (albeit for the wrong reasons). We take a look at the Hollywood squares pounded into round holes; the comedians who tried playing it straight, the white guys who blacked up and the foreigners who just couldn‘t fit in. They each have one thing in common: they all get two sore thumbs down. Digg This!
| 20. ROSIE O’DONNELL is… BETTY RUBBLE! | | THE FLINTSTONES (1994) |  |  | | | HERE WE HAVE A CLASSIC case highlighting the depressing gulf between cartoons and reality. Millions of sweaty-palmed pre-teens gazed longingly on Betty Rubble’s tiny waist and busty figure – surely up there with Judy Jetson and Jessica Rabbit in the list of cartoon characters ironic students say they’d like to bang. But who to cast in the live action movie? Whichever casting exec dropped this bombshell was wearing beer goggles, because they gave the role to rotund comedian turned lesbian, Rosie O’Donnell. Subsequently, an entire generation found their saucy cartoon dreams of Bam-Bam with Betty forever ruined by a saucer-faced heifer. Still, there’s always Wilma. |
| 19. DAVID BOWIE is… PONTIUS PILATE! | | THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST (1988) | |  | | | MARTIN SCORSESE UPSET MANY A Christian with his powerful story of the last days of Christ, but he went a touch too far in trying to shock and appal by hiring pop legend David Bowie to play Pontius Pilate, the Simon Cowell of the New Testament. Of course, there’s no documentation as to how Pilate may have looked, but we’re guessing eye patches, clown costumes and zoot suits weren’t exactly in fashion back then. David Bowie doesn’t even look human; though he’s proved himself a fine actor in the past, he’s really more at home playing men who fell to Earth or poorly-dressed Goblin Kings. |
| 18. JESSICA ALBA is… SUE STORM! | | FANTASTIC FOUR (2005) | |  | | | A GREAT EXAMPLE OF MISCASTING: hiring a sexy and popular girl, despite the fact she couldn‘t be more wrong for the role. Alba is a hotch-potch of different races, boasting Danish, French and Mexican blood; with her olive skin and dark hair, she’s very much a Latino girl. Sue Storm, on the other hand, is an Aryan poster girl. Rather than cast a blonde, the Fantastic Four team had Alba dye her hair, wear blue contacts and lighten her skin to the point where she looked like a sexy burns victim, or at the very least, something from White Chicks. Still, who cares – boobs! |
| 17. JUDE LAW is… A COCKNEY CAD! | | ALFIE (2004) | |  | | | 1966, AND MICHAEL CAINE IS the coolest Cockney slag in London town. He’s a charming, working-class cad and makes wry asides to camera as he seduces the birds. 2004, and Jude Law is the smuggest Mockney wanker in the entire world. He’s a nauseating, posh toff, who shagged his kids’ nanny. You can see our point. There are plenty of reasons to dislike Law – really, don’t get us started – but he’s 100% wrong for this role, which requires a cheeky, wink-wink relationship with the audience. Honestly, we’ve never forgiven him for breaking Sienna Miller’s heart. At least he’s going bald. |
| 16. ELIZABETH BANKS is… LAURA BUSH! | | W (2008) | |  | | | IT'S NOT EVEN STARTED FILMING at time of writing, but Oliver Stone’s Bush biopic has the potential to be a goldmine of bad casting. Brolin as Bush seems to work, but Dubya’s wife? Waaay out. Elizabeth Banks’ career is built on a platform of sluttiness: see 40 Year-Old Virgin for proof. Now try and imagine her as Laura Bush, the prim and proper president’s wife. Eww. We’re sure Banks has got more range than we credit her for, but we won’t be able to concentrate with her as First Lady, purely out of fear she’ll lean over and whisper in George’s ear, “We can do it in the butt if you want to...” Chilling. |
Posted on: 06/06/08 |
Email: ali@theshiznit.co.uk
Click here to read and post comments (currently 15 comments)
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Bowie: too funky for Jesus
Alba: not invisible
Danson: cheers, buddy
Banks: let's see her Bush
Bloom: war-mongerer
Bosworth: Lois Lame
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August 15th 2008
YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN
MISS PETTIGREW LIVES FOR A DAY
WILD CHILD
Click through for the full story
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