FINALLY after a frankly ridiculous seven long years since Saw VII: The Final Chapter, Jigsaw is returning to the big screen to further tap the rich and largely unexplored concept of 'a killer kills people with killing games'. Not a moment too soon, I say!
The new film/reboot/same old shit is titled Jigsaw and is hitting cinemas in October to cut a slice of that all-important going-to-the-cinema-on-Halloween-night demographic. But today Entertainment Weekly
released the very first pic of the film. Behold, the horror!
Click image for full-size picture
But what torturous game is being played here by star Laura Vandervoort? Has she just fallen into a vat of grain, or is there some deviously murderous wager at play? But what? Here are a few guesses.
Its a harmless attempt at trying to catch the sweet chocolate treat as thrown by someone out of shot. Catch it and enjoy the sugary goodness of a delicious confectionary. Miss it and, I don't know, her tongue is pulled out through her eye sockets?
"It's... a horse? A horse! No, not a horse. A dog? Ok, nevermind... what's that? A knife? A cage? Caged dog? No, dammit. Too late. To Kill A Mockingbird? IN WHAT WORLD IS THAT A BIRD, LAURA?"
Hidden in this giant container of seeds is a small sculpted bust of the Dwayne Johnson, which measures just half a centimetre in height. Jigsaw rewards extra points for every time the character bellows "Can you smell what the Rock is cooking?", but the points system is ultimately meaningless and just for Jigsaw's own amusement.
Impossible to tell from this still alone, but this shot actually shows Vandervoort's character in motion, shooting up through the air after one of the other game players inserted a giant plastic sword in the right slot. Ha ha, aww. A barrel of fun indeed.
Slowly sinking into the quicksand-like grain, all she has to do to escape certain suffocation is explain the many plot twists, contrivances and sequences of events of the Saw franchise to date. It's basically a cruel challenge with no hope of survival.