John McClane will Die Hard 5: Die Even More Ridiculously Hard


5th May 2010

Yippee-ki-yay, funky mother! John McClane's plans are about to get ruined for a fifth time - this is why no one invites him round for dinner. Unreliable.

Die Hard 5 is officially gearing up, with a writer now on board for scripting duties. The lucky man is none other than Skip Woods, whose writing credits to date consist of: Swordfish, Hitman, X-Men Origins: Wolverine and the forthcoming remake of The A-Team.

Now, while I thought Die Hard 4.0 was a pretty solid action movie, it received a lot of criticism for its more 'bullshitty' elements, namely: McClane jumping onto a freakin' jet fighter. If that's the case, hiring the guy that made a mid-air tank fight an airplane might not have been the best move.

In fact, expectations of ridiculousness are now so high that I won't be happy until I see Bruce Willis hanging on to a flying helicopter's rotor-blade while shooting fire from his balls.

Although, it is too early to tell whether this scene will indeed appear in Woods' final draft, what we do know is that Willis wants this instalment to be set outside the US, to give the film a grander scope than previous instalments. Which will work, unless, of course, McClane finds himself in Dagenham when all hell breaks loose.

On a side note, Skip Woods? You sound like the lead character in an 80s TV show about a young boy and his crime-solving wolf. Get a real name - you're representing McClane now, you ass-clown.

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