MGM finally scrape enough money together for Bond 23

It's confirmed: everyone's favourite brawling, sexist, drunk gambling addict is coming back to the big screen on 9 November 2012 to beat up women and bed henchmen. No wait...

The continued debacle of MGM's financial woes (henceforth now known as 'boring money shit') seems to have finally come to an end, as Peter Jackson assembles the same thumb-twiddling cast from his Lord of the Rings trilogy for prequel The Hobbit, and now this announcement comes from the studio:

So, unsurprisingly, silver-tongued bruiser Daniel Craig will be donning another tux, but news that long-rumoured director Sam Mendes is definitely Bond's helmer this time round should guarantee some degree of quality. Either that or we'll see Bond going through a mid-life crisis in suburbia while squabbling with his alcoholic love interest, who'll probably be called something like 'Tits Prozac'.

And what of the three names at the end there? Well, John Logan, Oscar-nominated writer of Gladiator and...er...Star Trek Nemesis, joins Bond stalwarts Neal Purvis and Robert Wade who together wrote Casino Royale (yay!), Quantum of Solace (boo!), The World is Not Enough (shrug!) and Die Another Day (LMAO!).

Here's hoping the writers can recapture that slick, brutal, no-mercy 007 without resorting to ridiculous, gimmicky 007. Just remember guys - when it comes to cool, gritty action, we like our Bond to be Taken-not-turd.