This week's movie news round-up was filmed in front of a live studio audience. Far from enhance the experience, it made it really hard to put together: they kept laughing at my typos.
Exciting news for fans of Shaun Of The Dead and Hot Fuzz: the third and final movie in Edgar Wright's 'Blood And Ice Cream' trilogy, The World's End, now has a sexy synopsis.
"20 years after attempting an epic pub crawl, five childhood friends reunite when one of them becomes hell bent on trying the drinking marathon again.
"They are convinced to stage an encore by mate Gary King, a 40-year old man trapped at the cigarette end of his teens, who drags his reluctant pals to their home town and once again attempts to reach the fabled pub, The World's End.
"As they attempt to reconcile the past and present, they realize the real struggle is for the future, not just theirs but humankind's. Reaching The World's End is the least of their worries."
Edgar, if you're reading this, I am available for trailer exclusives.
This new picture of Bane from The Dark Knight Rises comes courtesy of Total Film. This new Bane emoticon, however, is all mine: ಠmಠ
Andre 3000 of Outkast fame is about ready to play Jimi Hendrix in biopic All Is By My Side, which will apparently start filming in Ireland later this month. Haley Atwell and Imogen Poots have also been cast, but one thing that won't be appearing in the movie is any actual Hendrix music. This leads me to believe it'll be quite similar to Jenna Maroney of 30 Rock's unofficial Janis Joplin biopic, featuring Janey Jormp-Jomp.
Blithering idiots Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer - the creative genii behind Scary Movie, Date Movie, Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, Meet The Spartans and Vampires Suck - have announced a new parody called The Starving Games. I think it'll be based on The Avengers.
One of the movies I'm most looking forward to, and most gutted I won't see at Cannes, is Andrew Dominik's Killing Me Softly, formerly known as Cogan's Trade. It's a gangster movie featuring Brad Pitt, Ray Liotta, Scoot McNairy from Monsters and Pope from Animal Kingdom. I say merde to the Frenchies, and here's some early footage to enjoy.
Cameron Diaz has replaced Angelina Jolie in Cormac McCarthy's The Counselor. Drag. The only way this could possibly be a good thing is if both actresses swapped names with each other last week to play a joke on me. Wait... if they both swapped their names, then... Wait... So they'd be... Damn girls, this is a head-scratcher. Why you play me like this?
The Raid, but with cats. Surprisingly accurate. I hereby demand that creator Lee Hardcastle is included in the New Year's honours list.
Luke Evans has been cast as the villain in Fast & Furious 6, which will see Vin Diesel's crew embark on another heist mission across Europe. Presumably only in the countries which have the best tax breaks.
Sacha Baron Cohen and Kurt Russell have both pulled out of Django Unchained, despite both being replacements for Jonah Hill and Kevin Costner, who also pulled out. According to rumours, Russell apparently claimed the movie "wasn't Western enough". Cohen left after he woke up in his trailer to find director Quentin Tarantino jizzing on his feet.
Sad news: Piranha 3DD star Gary Busey has become self-aware.
Rebecca Hall has replaced Jessica Chastain on the cast list of Iron Man 3. Ladies, ladies: in my sexy dream auditions, you both can be in my movie! Now, put on these rubber dinosaur costumes and shut up.
Finally, here's an assload of videos from Pixar's Brave. An assload = three. That's official assonometry.