Movie poster round-up: Killer Joes, eating contests and man hands

It's SXSW this week, which sounds like something Jean Dujardin might say in bed but is actually a film and music festival that should hopefully provide some good movie news for tomorrow's round-up. It has to because I'm writing it and it needs to be easy.

Kids are so hot right now. Wait, that came out wrong. What I meant was comedies involving couples having babies and achieving other such 'proper adult' milestones have somehow become de rigueur - hence Lidl's answer to Friends With Kids, L!fe Happens.


Continuing the theme of continuing themes; Abel Ferrara's 4:44 Last Day On Earth joins Melancholia, 2012 and every second SyFy movie from the last decade by welcoming Doomsday with open arms, and what looks like Willem Dafoe's sex face. It isn't I checked, his is more like ;¬d


He's not on the poster, but Kate Hudson cancer rom-com (can we just start calling them 'Krom-coms'?) A Little Bit Of Heaven also stars awesome acting dwarf Peter Dinklage. If that isn't the perfect setup for a "would you like a little bit of heaven" joke, then I don't know what is.


Unless I'm grossly mistaken, this poster for J. K. Rowling's The Hunger Games features Hermione scoring ten points for Gryffindor in an archery contest. Go Gryffindor House!


The tagline on this poster for Jack Kerouac adaptation On The Road is wrong. The best teacher was the Information Technology substitute who let us install Quake and play network games instead of learning.


Just because it's nearly a week since we reminded ourselves there is a film coming out based on the Battleship boardgame, here's a poster for the bloody thing.


Every urge in my body is screaming at me to look at the woman in the red dress, but I just can't take my eyes away from Chloe Moretz's gigantic hand. It gets bigger the longer you look at it. Did the body they stripped her head onto belong to Peter Shilton? I'm so sorry if that genuinely is her hand - you'll grow into it one day, Chloe! Oh yeah, movies... umm... Dark Shadows looks a bit cack.


Click through for more movie posters and incisive, informed opinions (not all about hands)!