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Angelina Jolie

News, Reviews, Features, Trailers & Rants...

Review: Maleficent

Posted by Becky Mather at 16:00 on 28 May 2014
Maleficent
Getting over your first love can be tricky. When your heart has been torn from your chest and ripped to pieces in front of you by the cruel hand of fate (or by your childhood sweetheart), it's easy to believe that true love only exists in fairytales, particularly when you're standing outside their house at 2am, barefoot and screaming "WHHHHYYYY?!" Agony aunts will often offer up cheery advice such as "Take up a new hobby!" or "Try a daring new haircut!" My advice after watching Maleficent would be to get a set of leather horns, some red lipstick and go all 'bad witch' on his ass. Revenge has never looked so good.

Review: The Tourist

Posted by Matt at 16:42 on 09 Dec 2010
The Tourist
Depp! And Jolie! Together, onscreen for the first time! How exciting is this going to be? The answer is: not at all. In fact, this film is so uninspiring, that at one point in the film Depp's character is seen reading a spy novel and I caught myself wishing we could be following that story instead. It certainly couldn't have been any worse than this dreary smugfest.

Review: Salt

Posted by David at 23:00 on 24 Aug 2010
Salt
Following the shelving of Bourne 4 for the immediate future, Philip Noyce's feature has been earmarked as its temporary replacement; however, for better or worse, it is not at all. Entering the film sceptical about Jolie as the main action lead and the plot itself, my spider-sense seemed to tingle 'average film syndrome'. I was right. However, upon my exit from the cinema, a strange sense of bewilderment and disappointment filled me.

Angelina Jolie to play Marilyn Monroe in her terrier's biopic

Posted by Ali at 21:31 on 16 Aug 2010
Angelina Jolie to play Marilyn Monroe in her terrier's biopic
Angelina Jolie will play history's sexiest dead chick Marilyn Monroe in a movie biopic, shot from the perspective of her dog. I FEEL LIKE I'M TAKING CRAZY PILLS.

Stop everything: Johnny Depp is on a boat, motherfucker

Posted by Ali at 22:56 on 14 Jun 2010
Stop everything: Johnny Depp is on a boat, motherfucker
Here's the first picture from The Tourist, starring Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp. Said Depp: "I'm on a boat motherfucker, take a look at me, straight flowing on a boat on the deep blue sea."

Okay Hollywood, I'll go see your Angelina Jolie Cleopatra movie

Posted by Ali at 18:22 on 13 Jun 2010
Okay Hollywood, I'll go see your Angelina Jolie Cleopatra movie
There are two Cleopatra movies coming atcha. One will star Angelina Jolie. The other is a 3D musical from Steven Soderbergh. Make sure you get in the right queue.

Do not want: Kristen Stewart to replace Angelina Jolie in Wanted 2

Posted by Ali at 19:37 on 23 Apr 2010
Do not want: Kristen Stewart to replace Angelina Jolie in Wanted 2
Kristen Stewart is allegedly being lined up to replace Angelina Jolie in the sequel to Wanted, despite me making this face upon hearing the news: ಠ_ಠ

Angelina Jolie gives us wood

Posted by Ali at 22:45 on 01 Mar 2010
Angelina Jolie gives us wood
Fnar fnar. Angelina Jolie has opted out of the sequel to Wanted to make a movie about a pair of newlyweds who build a timber empire during the Depression. There is no punchline to this joke.

Angelina Jolie's Salt trailer

Posted by Ali at 19:56 on 05 Nov 2009
Angelina Jolie's Salt trailer
The new trailer for Angelina Jolie's spy thriller Salt has landed, and she looks bloody gorgeous. What's the matter, Angie? Can't take a condiment? Zing! Am I right guys, huh? I'm here all week folks, try the veal.

Review: Kung Fu Panda

Posted by Rob at 15:04 on 06 Jul 2008
Kung Fu Panda
Dreamworks have always played second fiddle to the almighty Pixar, churning out mostly second-rate films when compared to the Nemos and Ratatouilles of the world. Kung Fu Panda, though, may just make Andrew Stanton and friends worry that they have some serious competition. It goes without saying that the visuals are astounding -...
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