Angelina Jolie

Review: The Tourist

Depp! And Jolie! Together, onscreen for the first time! How exciting is this going to be? The answer is: not at all. In fact, this film is so uninspiring, that at one point in the film Depp's character is seen reading a spy novel and I caught myself wishing we could be following that story instead. It certainly couldn't have been any worse than this dreary smugfest.

Review: Salt

Following the shelving of Bourne 4 for the immediate future, Philip Noyce's feature has been earmarked as its temporary replacement; however, for better or worse, it is not at all. Entering the film sceptical about Jolie as the main action lead and the plot itself, my spider-sense seemed to tingle 'average film syndrome'. I was right. However, upon my exit from the cinema, a strange sense of bewilderment and disappointment filled me.

Angelina Jolie to play Marilyn Monroe in her terrier's biopic

Angelina Jolie will play history's sexiest dead chick Marilyn Monroe in a movie biopic, shot from the perspective of her dog. I FEEL LIKE I'M TAKING CRAZY PILLS.

Stop everything: Johnny Depp is on a boat, motherfucker

Here's the first picture from The Tourist, starring Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp. Said Depp: "I'm on a boat motherfucker, take a look at me, straight flowing on a boat on the deep blue sea."

Okay Hollywood, I'll go see your Angelina Jolie Cleopatra movie

There are two Cleopatra movies coming atcha. One will star Angelina Jolie. The other is a 3D musical from Steven Soderbergh. Make sure you get in the right queue.

Do not want: Kristen Stewart to replace Angelina Jolie in Wanted 2

Kristen Stewart is allegedly being lined up to replace Angelina Jolie in the sequel to Wanted, despite me making this face upon hearing the news: ಠ_ಠ

Angelina Jolie gives us wood

Fnar fnar. Angelina Jolie has opted out of the sequel to Wanted to make a movie about a pair of newlyweds who build a timber empire during the Depression. There is no punchline to this joke.

Angelina Jolie's Salt trailer

The new trailer for Angelina Jolie's spy thriller Salt has landed, and she looks bloody gorgeous. What's the matter, Angie? Can't take a condiment? Zing! Am I right guys, huh? I'm here all week folks, try the veal.

Review: Kung Fu Panda

Dreamworks have always played second fiddle to the almighty Pixar, churning out mostly second-rate films when compared to the Nemos and Ratatouilles of the world. Kung Fu Panda, though, may just make Andrew Stanton and friends worry that they have some serious competition. It goes without saying that the visuals are astounding -...

Review: Wanted

If you can think of a new and exciting way to have one man shoot another, you score a point. If you can think of several, you deserve a round of applause. If you can find a way to include them in a movie that doesn't result in embarrassed laughter but rather sustained awe, then congratulations - you've officially made the pages ...