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Jessica Biel

News, Reviews & Features

  • Lessons learned from movies #182

    Movie Feature | Ali | 28th August 2012

    As seen in: Total Recall (2012), Children Of Men (2006) and Demolition Man (1993) among others. Apparently there's no time to wash and go when the man is keeping you down, brah.

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  • Total Recall

    Movie Review | Ali | 27th August 2012

    From what I gather due to the half-hearted outrage surrounding the existence of this remake, the original Total Recall is held in fairly high esteem. Never saw it, sorry. Go ahead, say it. I know you want to. "YOU HAVEN'T SEEN TOTAL RECALL?" Sorry, just never got around to it. "HOW CAN YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN TOTAL RECALL?" Like I just said. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU HAVEN'T SEEN TOTAL RECALL!" And so on. As it happens, not being on familiar terms with the original Arnoldgeddon puts me in the unique position of being able to judge Len Wiseman's reboot without bias; nowhere in this review will I bemoan the lack of/inclusion of beloved one-liners, the fact Colin Farrell isn't fit to buff Schwarzenegger's pecs or that it isn't set on Mars. My slate is clean, so I'm free to see Total Recall 2012 for exactly what it is: a bright and shiny slice of blockbuster sci-fi that's so dazzling it makes tender love to your retinas but so underwhelming it practically wipes itself from your memory the instant it's over.

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  • New Year's Eve

    Movie Review | Rob | 8th December 2011

    New Year's Eve; the one night of the year when you feel obliged to have fun, but if truth be told, you usually can't be arsed. Fittingly, that's how Garry Marshall's follow-up to Valentine's Day makes you feel.

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  • Stealth

    Movie Review | Ali | 17th August 2005

    "We fly planes!" says Oscar-winner Jamie Foxx, in the trailer for explosion overdose Stealth, like he's explaining the plot to an uninterested four year old. Funnily enough, it might just be the market Stealth is aimed at. Now, don't get me wrong, I like big stupid action lobotomies as much as the next guy, but there's a point...

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