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Michael Bay

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Review: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Posted by Ali Gray at 19:47 on 12 Oct 2014
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
So I finally got old. Morning: doctor's appointment for dry skin. Afternoon: phone calls with estate agents and surveyors and mortgage advisors. Evening: still-aching limbs from a football match played 48 hours previously. I startle awake to find myself sat in a Paramount screening room ready to watch the latest iteration of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, a phenomenon I was probably too old to enjoy guilt-free the first time round a quarter of a century ago. "Let's see those hands in the air!" says a company spokesperson, urging attendees to don the giant green foam hands provided for a photo opportunity. I am secretly glad I didn't pick any up on the way in. Because I am old as fuck.

The Transformers/Coen Bros Venn diagram

Posted by Ali Gray at 11:55 on 04 Jul 2014
The Transformers/Coen Bros Venn diagram
It's one of the weirdest phenomenons in modern movie history: how is it that so many Coen regulars wind up in Transformers movies? See the culprits as we attempt to figure out what possible motives the guilty parties could have.

Review: Transformers: Age Of Extinction

Posted by Ed Williamson at 10:00 on 03 Jul 2014
Transformers: Age Of Extinction
An age of extinction. Well, it does go on for ages, but Michael Bay's fourth Transformers movie, while offering some CGI spectacle to knock your block off, threatens the eradication of the human race but never treats the prospect with much more than an afterthought.

Review: Pain & Gain

Posted by Ed Williamson at 08:00 on 27 Aug 2013
Pain & Gain
In bringing to prominence the idea of the American Dream in his 1931 book Epic of America, James Truslow Adams wrote that it was "a dream of social order in which each man and each woman shall be able to attain to the fullest stature of which they are innately capable". In doing so he likely didn't foresee that one day a film starring Marky Mark and The Rock would distort the notion with glorious excess, suggesting that it is a hollow hope when misinterpreted by the ignorant. Or that I would steal his quote from Wikipedia and pass it off as serious historical research.

Can you crack the secret hidden code in the new Pain & Gain poster?

Posted by Luke at 15:45 on 04 Apr 2013

Move mouse over image to crack code!

Warning: may reveal plot spoilers.

Looking through the Pearl Harbor keywords on IMDB, when suddenly...

Posted by Ali at 11:25 on 30 Jun 2012
Looking through the Pearl Harbor keywords on IMDB, when suddenly...
I mean, I know it's shit, but come on.

Review: Transformers: Dark Of The Moon

Posted by Ali at 21:00 on 28 Jun 2011
Transformers: Dark Of The Moon
Though I've still not quite recovered from giving Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen four stars upon release – both from the kicking I got in the comments and the subsequent shock when I rewatched it in horror on DVD – I am still very much in the broad demographic targeted by Michael Bay and the Transformers franchise: people who like to see shit getting blown up. We are a proud, simple people.

Trailer/boner alert: Transformers: Dark Of The Moon

Posted by Ali at 14:18 on 30 Apr 2011
Trailer/boner alert: Transformers: Dark Of The Moon
Revenge Of The Fallen be damned: I'm going to stop pretending I'm not excited about Transformers 3. IT HAS A GIANT ROBOT SNAKE IN IT. How could it possibly fail?

Transformers 3 title gets all Pink Floyd on us

Posted by Ali at 19:03 on 06 Oct 2010
Transformers 3 title gets all Pink Floyd on us
The title for the third Transformers movie has been revealed, and it's a doozy: find out what it is, after the break. And hey, Megatron: leave those bots alone!

Freeze! Michael Bay: puppy police

Posted by Ali at 14:14 on 02 Sep 2010
Freeze! Michael Bay: puppy police
Video of some Bosnian street urchin throwing live puppies into a river has caused outrage across the internet. They didn't reckon on one thing: Michael Bay. (*dons sunglasses, walks away from explosion*)
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