DVD weekly: Olyphant, love triangles and Ralph Macchio

Here's a round-up of this week's new releases on DVD and Blu-ray. Why? Because all we do is bitch about how crappy our local cinemas are and how awesome our sofas and surround sound systems are.

Released: Monday July 19th July 2010

The Crazies (2010) DVD & Blu-ray

Buy the DVD on Amazon for £10.99

Another zombie-less paranoia film in the Romero mould (literally in this case as it is based on George's 1973 original), The Crazies gives Timothy Olyphant an excuse to star in another creative-but-ultimately-mediocre-looking film. His Sheriff Dutton must lead a band of innocent folk in escaping a military-clamped-down town of Ogden Marsh, the population of which has mostly been infected with a chemical toxin, making them utterly insane and maniacally violent. Cool, huh?

Thing is, I haven't actually seen this film yet so there's not much else I can do except try to make up an unfunny joke about Olyphant's name. Olyphant. Oll-ee-phant. Hmm, maybe I shouldn't talk about the Olyphant in the room. 'Cos, y'know, Olyphants never forget. Eh? Eh?! Comedy gold.

Read our original review .
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2009) DVD

Buy the DVD on Amazon for £10.99

Oh great, another film I haven't seen yet. At least I've read the book for this one though - I hope Lisbeth Salander lives up to how her character is depicted in the novel. Have you all seen it? Is Blomkvist younger in the movie? Did they keep in the whole subplot about Hans-Erik Wennerström? Well, if the film is anywhere near as good as the book, this is a gripping complex crime thriller with a good old-fashioned detective noir mystery at its heart and plenty of intriguing, fully-realised characters. Unfortunately, that's the best I can do. Is there a book website I can moonlight for?

Read our original review .
Donnie Darko (2001) Blu-ray

Buy the Blu-ray on Amazon for £13.99

Jake Gyllenhaaaaal's big break in this highly original, influential and totally overrated cult film. If you haven't seen it yet, you're only missing out on some talk about time-travel, a demonic rabbit and hours upon hours of reading fan forum theories on the internet. If you have seen it, you probably have instructions for those uninitiated few, such as "Oh dude, it all make sense if you think that, when we first see Donnie, he has already time-travelled to get to that point" or "Oh man, you have to watch it stoned". I bet Richard Kelly is pissing himself.
Chloe (2009) DVD & Blu-ray

Buy the DVD on Amazon for £10.99

Liam Neeson has fun in a threesome with Julianne Moore and Amanda Seyfried. Oh wait, it's a love triangle. Actually isn't that the same thing? Or at least its a solution to all love triangles? Take note, Twilight fans, this could be your happy ending. Go Team Jakeward! (*high five*)

Read our original review .
Karate Kid (1984) Blu-ray

Buy the Blu-ray on Amazon for £10.99

Before Will Smith started spreading his seed across our cinema screens, The Karate Kid starred the excellent character actor Ralph Macchio (and Ralph actually did karate, Jaden, ok? None of this kung-fu rubbish). The crane-kick ending on its own has forever earned Macchio a well-deserved place in the 'Whatever Happened to Them - They Were Awesome' file. I still can't hear Mr Miyagi say "Wax on, wax off" without thinking he has ulterior motive though.
Also out this week

Nanny McPhee
Nanny McPhee & The Big Bang
Karate Kid II