And the Oscar for Best Performance By Meryl Streep goes to...

Meryl Streep, for The Iron Lady! I KNOW, RIGHT? Here's the first trailer, in which Streep's Maggie Thatcher insists on a pearl necklace. You know what I'm talking about, fellas. (*wink*) That's right: jewellery.

Films about British political figures are going gangbusters around the world at the moment, so step forward The Iron Lady, the Margaret Thatcher biopic nobody asked for and nobody will go and see until it wins loads of Oscars and we all feel compelled. God I hate that our country has such a rich and interesting history. Oh to be an American.

Streep has always been a good impersonator, and there's no doubting she's in possession of the gravitas to inhabit a woman as powerful as Thatchmo was back in her heyday. I'm just not sure I'm ready to watch a film in which the cold-hearted bitch who snatched the school milk from our tiny, infantile hands is portrayed as a 'real' woman. Given that it's from the director of Mamma Mia, I'm sure there'll be a 'female empowerment' angle, possibly with a Spice Girls soundtracked makeover scene.

Not sure they'll include the scene where Thatcher peels back her skin to reveal her exo-skeleton to her horrified constituents either.