Trailer: Count the Conan clichés

Gawp at the new Conan trailer this-wards and count ye olden day action clichés.

The entirely unnecessary reboot of Conan The Barbarian, starring Baywatch Hawaii and Tits McCatFlap from Scream, has a new trailer: time to toast to the good old days and drink Vimto from your opponent's skull, I guess.

First impressions: it's hard to gauge tone, considering it's like 300 meets Gladiator with a Tron Legacy soundtrack, but from what I can make out, it looks like a funnier Your Highness. There's camp fantasy, and then there's running around shirtless and tossing your damp hair around like you just stepped out of ye salon. Whatever, make your own minds up.

You may have noticed a few 'moves' you've seen before. That's because this trailer manages to squeeze in every single swordsplay cliché known to man. Don't believe me? Look again and you'll see...

1. Twirling your sword in your hand



2. Pirouetting while swinging your sword



3. Unsheathing your sword and going "Aaahhhhhh!"



4. Doing a half-jump stab



5. Dodging a spear in slow-motion and looking at it



6. Ducking under a projectile weapon



7. Doing a mid-air bodyspin to evade a horizontal sword attack



8. DOUBLE SWORDS, SO INTENSE



9. Pirouetting (again)



10. Bonus cliché: Fucking up a horse



Conan is released later this year and is apparently pronounced 'Cone-en'.