Twilight: New Moon is awful

At least, if this new short clip is anything to go by. I never thought I'd say this, but I'd rather read Buffy fan fiction than sit through the Twilight saga.

I get the Twilight hysteria, really I do. Hot guy wears hair gel and smoulders; passive, pale girl falls in love with the one boy she can't have. Really, it's not complicated. Frankly, it's sixth-form level stuff. I can imagine Robert Smith writing similar stories between wedgies.

But honestly? This clip from the second part of the saga, New Moon - pronounced 'Numune' by chipmunk Taylor Lautner - could be a Friedberg/Seltzer spoof and I wouldn't know the difference. Shirtless werewolves? Bitch-slaps? Hulk-outs? Is this really what passes for entertainment for the children of today?

Are short shorts the official werewolf uniform? Why does the transformation happen in about three frames of CG animation? Why is the wolf the size of a horse? Where the hell are my keys? All questions that won't be answered in The Twilight Saga: New Moon, released 20 November in the UK.