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News, Reviews & Features

Review: Wonder Woman 1984 is here to remind you about idiot nonsense cinema

Movie Review | Matt Looker | 30th December 2020

Coming right in the final throes of a horribly unheroic year, the long-awaited sequel of the best reviewed film of the DCEU - and the only true superhero movie to be released in 2020 - should be a slam dunk. Tenet aside, the year has been utterly devoid of blockbuster spectacle and we havenâ€™t been able to measure our cinematic expectations in major franchise instalments like we normally would, resorting instead to counting Netflix hits and misses. So, whether itâ€™s being watched at an IMAX or on an iPad, Wonder Woman 1984 really couldnâ€™t have hoped for a more receptive audience. Sadly, any assumptions that this would guarantee a great movie experience is purely wishful thinking.

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Review: Joker discovers the magical art of not giving a f*ck

Movie Review | Becky Suter | 8th October 2019

To be honest, I had every intention of getting this review done as soon as Iâ€™d watched the film on Friday, but then I got distracted by Untitled Goose Game and the rest of the weekend was a bit of a waterfowl blur, to be honest. My waking hours were mainly spent terrorising a small, English village, checking off my to-do list before I grew bored and wanted to fuck shit up, just for the sake of it. I stole goods from a small business and planted them in a manâ€™s garden to frame him for theft for pure lols. I trapped the boy in the garage over and over again, because I thought he was was weak and he didnâ€™t like my honking. Unbound by societal demands, I was liberated; I was free. The poor inhabitants of the village had done nothing to deserve my feathery reign of terror, other than they didnâ€™t like me and therefore, I didnâ€™t like them. By the end of the weekend, had even one villager shown just a morsel of kindness toward me (a piece of bread, perhaps), I would have just honked in their stupid faces, and continued to destroy everything they hold dear. I didnâ€™t set out to be the figurehead of the goose rebellion; they made me that way. Throughout the ages, village elders will tell tales of "The Goose That Hid in a Box, Then Jumped Out and Scared the Lady.â€ In the early hours of the morning with no more worlds left to conquer, I closed my laptop and remembered I said I was going to do a write-up of Joker, about a marginalised character on the fringes of society who adopts an alter-ego in a downward spiral, and I realised my story had already been told, except it was filmed a lot better and had Joaquin Phoenix in it and not so many geese.

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20 exciting and totally achievable ways the DC Universe can rebuild

Movie Feature | Ali Gray | 17th September 2018

The DC universe is broken. Henry Cavill is done with Superman. Ben Affleck is too goth even for Batman and reportedly wants an escape route. Wonder Woman accidentally became the most successful one and now all the men at the studio have no idea what to do with her. And Aquaman... exists. Forget whatever humanitarian crises the Fake News Media are pushing on you this week: we need to focus our efforts on figuring out how to fix these adult manbaby movie franchises, and STAT. These 20 ideas to fix the DCCU by yours truly are a start, but frankly, I'm not hearing anything coming from your end. Is this thing even on?

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What if Ethan Hawke played ALL the superheroes? Huh? What happens then?

Movie Feature | Ali Gray | 27th August 2018

Indie actor Ethan Hawke caused shockwaves in the nerd community this week when he dared suggest that superhero movies are not as good as Ingrid Bergman movies. So, Ethan Hawke thinks we're a group of illiterate and reactionary morons, huh? BURN ETHAN HUNT TO THE GROUND.

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San Diego Comic-Con 2018 news round-up

Movie Feature | Matt Looker | 23rd July 2018

Geeks across the globe reconvened in San Diego this weekend for their annual meeting of dressing up and playing with toys and arguing over which superpower is the awesomest. Haha NERDS. Anyway, here's a round-up of all the super-cool and important film and TV stuff that happened.

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Let's take a deep dive into the first Aquaman poster aka Finding Greebo

Movie Feature | Ali Gray | 17th July 2018

I'm being forced to embrace the disjointed madness emanating from DC Headquarters right now, because while Marvel have cracked the formula and landed on a consistent tone for their cinematic universe, DC have got nothing to lose. They're playing discordant, cinematic jazz. We're fully in 'no bad ideas' territory with this insane new Aquaman poster: it's the last day of school term and the kids are running the classroom now. They're all over the fucking shop, is essentially what I'm getting at.

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Justice League

Movie Review | Ali Gray | 19th November 2017

It wasnâ€™t evil aliens that defeated the Justice League: it was facial hair.

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The Shiznit's Not Unlistenable Podcast: Blade Runner 2049

Movie Feature | Matt Looker | 9th October 2017

That annoying pop-up you received this morning on your phone was the new notification of our latest sporadic podcast episode, begging you for attention like an artificial life form desperate to have its own existence validated.

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Hot take: Martin Scorsese's Joker movie might be good but might also be bad, more as it develops

Movie Feature | Ali Gray | 23rd August 2017

Two separate news stories broke in the same news story this morning. First, it was reported that Martin Scorsese would be producing a brand new '80s crime-era origin story for The Joker, with the role recast and the film unrelated to the nascent DC Cinematic Universe. Then, upon further scrutiny, it was discovered in the same report that Todd Phillips would be directing it. Oh. Right. Rough, meet smooth. Depending on how you frame it, this is either a savvy move from DC to decentralise their movie universe by putting legendary filmmaking talent at the centre of it, or it's an act of desperation from a studio who can't settle on a tone and can't even keep an actor interested in a role between one movie and the next. Which opinion is correct? Find out after these messages!

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Important investigation: what would Henry Cavill's Superman look like with a moustache?

Movie Feature | Ali Gray | 25th July 2017

In the true spirit of investigative journalism, we recently learned that Henry Cavill will be sporting a moustache during his Justice League reshoots, so we set to work imagining what such a thing would look like. Screw you, Failing New York Times, that Pulitzer is mine.

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