Horror

News, Reviews & Features

Review: It Chapter Two is a great bookend, but where's the tl;dr version?

Movie Review | Matt Looker | 3rd September 2019

2017â€™s It was such a huge success that it has reignited not only a demand for more Stephen King adaptations, but also a desire for high quality scares again. But thereâ€™s a downside to being the highest grossing horror film of all time - and Iâ€™m not talking about Pennywise making it harder for real-life clowns like Bongo Bonzo And Catty Watty Boom Boom (both local to me - I searched the directory) to find work. No, the downside is that, for this follow-up, the filmmaking team appear to have been left more unchecked. This sequel is far longer than it needs to be, far funnier than it makes sense to be and filled with so many meme-worthy visuals that it seems to have been made purely for Twitter retorts. In short, itâ€™s an overlong carnival for the senses, and thatâ€™s in addition to Pennywise continuing to give clowns like Bongo Bonzo and Catty Watty a bad name.

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Review: Pet Sematary is flatter than a run over cat

Movie Review | Becky Suter | 5th April 2019

The long list of Stephen King adaptations run from the great (The Shining, Misery), the so-so (original Carrie), to the just downright silly one where everyone gets alien bum worms called "Shitweasels" (Dreamcatcher). Following on from the passable remake of It, where Pennywise became a sewer daddy for thirsty millennials wanting to bang clowns, the latest of Kingâ€™s books to be resurrected is a confused and uninspiring mess that proves, as one character helpfully puts it, sometimes dead is better.

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20 things you idiots didn't know about the Halloween franchise

Movie Feature | Ali Gray | 19th October 2018

Halloween is released in cinemas this weekend, and if youâ€™re sat at home, alone, reading this and thinking 'Hasnâ€™t there already been a movie called Halloween?' then oh my god do you need our help you unstoppable moron. Consider this your primer to the entire Halloween franchise: these 20 indisputable facts might even help prevent you from being murdered by Michael Myers himself. Feel free to share with all your friends and repeat the facts herein out loud within earshot of people you respect.

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Review: Halloween is hollow and joyless, like a sad old pumpkin left out to rot

Movie Review | Ali Gray | 11th October 2018

I've always thought of slasher franchises like DIY chemistry sets. Once your hypothesis has been proven - that's your murderer, your motive and your gimmick - subsequent tests should be relatively simple to assemble: all of your elements are still available for use and you're aiming for the same reactions, but you can have a little fun in how you put them all together - experimentation is the name of the game! This Halloween revival, set 40 years after the John Carpenter original and discounting the entire subsequent sequel lore of Michael Myers, had the potential to be an interesting experiment, but it's carried out with all the zeal of someone joylessly following the instructions to build a sturdy IKEA bookcase.

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Mom & Dad

Movie Review | Ali Gray | 26th February 2018

"They fuck you up, your Mum and Dad. They may not mean to, but they do." Philip Larkin couldnâ€™t possibly have known his ode to parenthood would inspire a Nicolas Cage movie that scores full marks on the gurn-o-meter, but then Philip Larkin didnâ€™t see Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance coming, either. Brought to you by Brian Taylor, one half of the ADD-addled braintrust behind Crank and its sequel, horror thriller Mom & Dad is another high voltage romp that burns energy like itâ€™s jacked into the mains with no intention of paying the bill.

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"Our horror movie title is terrible. Should we make the tagline worse to make it sound comparatively better?"

Movie Feature | Ali Gray | 27th August 2017

Alternate suggestions: 'Evil just Shared your post', 'Evil just added you to Messenger', 'Evil is attending an Event in your area'.

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A Cure For Wellness

Movie Review | Ali Gray | 21st February 2017

A while back, I used the pun 'Shitter Island' to describe John Carpenter's horror comeback The Ward during a Halloween liveblog. As with all my puns, I reserve the right to reuse them whenever I want, so I'm recycling this one in honour of Gore Verbinski's A Cure For Wellness, another cliched asylum-based horror thriller. More like Shitter Island, right guys? Haha, good one Ali.

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Unfriended

Movie Review | Rob Young | 30th April 2015

Before watching Unfriended â€“ a real-time horror film that, according to IMDb, "redefines 'found footage' for a new generation of teens", I was confident that I was 'down with the kids'. But now, having sat through a film completely confined within a teenage girl's laptop as she Skypes her six friends, I don't know what to think any more. They probably don't even say 'down with the kids' these days, do they? As I sit here, concerned about the ever-growing number of grey hairs on my head, I'm seriously starting to worry about how out-of-touch I clearly am with the youth of today. Hell, I didn't even know you could Skype six people at once.

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Improving the Insidious 3 posters with childish alternate captions

Movie Feature | Ali Gray | 2nd April 2015

As you were.

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It Follows

Movie Review | Ali Gray | 1st March 2015

I reckon the best way to get the measure of a new horror film is to test how easy it is to replicate the scares in your own home. For example: to 'Blair Witch' someone is to stand motionless and in silence while facing a corner; to 'Body Snatch' someone is to point at them and scream; to pull a 'Paranormal Activity' is to stand next to someone as they sleep and watch them lose their shit when they wake up. The best horror movies tap into something dark and primitive that lurks in us all. It Follows is one such horror movie and contains a core DIY scare tactic that can be replicated by anyone at any time - one that can turn even a well-lit, friendly afternoon picnic into a pant-stained arena of terror.

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