Behold: The Nicolas Cage Matrix
1st February 2011
As Drive Angry revs its engine and readies to crash itself into our lives, it's time to consider the bigger picture: just how are you supposed to categorise Nicolas Cage movies? Which ones are good? Which ones are bad? Which ones are so bad they're good? Behold, the answer: The Nicolas Cage Matrix.
Then, we considered the factors. Like most actors, Nicolas Cage has made his fair share of stinkers as well as some unforgettable classics, so the vertical axis would have to be based on quality. As for horizontal - my favourite axis - well, that's easy. Cage more than anyone has two distinct types of movie: serious, po-faced, issue movies and balls-out, crack-piped, bug-eyed brainwrongs. Then it was simply a case of plotting the graph, carrying the ones, and...
This pretty much speaks for itself. As you can see, Cage's career covers the full spectrum. The truly brilliant, madcap, mercurial Nicolas Cage from the likes of Bad Lieutenant and Kick-Ass doesn't come out to play nearly as often as straight-faced, paycheque-hunting, Season Of The Witch Nicolas Cage. That's not to say he doesn't try - just look at the films clogging up the rubbish/mental quadrant, freaking out the rest of the matrix. And look how smug The Weather Man is.
What have we learned from this? Not a lot, if I'm being honest. But it was fun to make.
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