Feature
If other monster movies had 'blood relatives' like 10 Cloverfield Lane
Movie Feature
Ali Gray
21st March 2016
10 Cloverfield Lane is the latest mystery box from man/magician JJ Abrams: a revolutionary new sort-of-sequel to his 2008 monster movie classic Cloverfield. He calls it a "blood relative" but what this means in real terms is "a sequel in all but name only". It's a technique that could catch on in the monster genre - spin-offs that springboard off an iconic monster attack but focus on something way less spectacular (and way cheaper to create). We humbly present the next 10 revolutionary new sort-of sequels to monster movie classics. That's right, JJ. We've bust your mystery box wide open.
Survivors of the first ever Godzilla attack in Tokyo gather to reminisce about the fateful day, despite not actually being anywhere near the vicinity of the attack, or even really being able to remember what happened in any sort of meaningful way.
A Nightmare On The Street Next To Elm Street
Hard-hitting kitchen sink drama about a property developer with insurmountable debts and an ex-wife who's threatening to take his kids away, who is nonetheless unaware that just one street over, children are literally being murdered in their sleep by a knife-wielding maniac.
King Kong From Far Away
Citizens of New Jersey squint to make out what appears to be a giant gorilla climbing the Empire State Building in New York but they guess it could be anything really, it's too hard to tell from that distance.
Mothra, Actually
Romance blossoms in the looming shadows of a killer mutant moth attack. Can plucky courier Will win the heart of uptight businesswoman Kathy before she marries her ill-suited fiance? Will true love triumph against all odds? Or will the entire city be razed to the ground by the almighty Mothra?
The Amity Island Chronicles
Genteel coastguard drama set on the pristine beaches of Amity Island, a good six years before they had any shark-related incidents. Starring precisely none of the cast of Jaws, because why would it?
Cleaner Of The Black Lagoon
Procedural drama set around the challenges faced by Paco, a poorly-paid, uninspired Amazonian refuse collector whose job it is to make sure the Black Lagoon is kept free of litter. Paco, we should point out, is unaware of any creatures living within his work environment, and encounters nothing out of the ordinary on his daily rounds.
Van Helsing: Party Liaison
Sex comedy in which the infamous vampire hunter arranges a huge party in order to bed a buxom wench on his day off from monster slaying.
The Blob?
Monster movie set in the '50s, following a group of teens who hear rumours of a large blob attacking the neighbouring town. Of course, with no internet or 24-hour television, they have no way of knowing for sure, and neither do we. But can Pinky Tuscadero get off work at the ice cream social in time to make it to the sock hop?
Pacific Trim
Romantic drama spin-off starring the guy who makes Ron Perlman's character's glamorous shoes as he embarks on a deep and meaningful quest for love that involves no monsters or robots in any way.
11 Cloverfield Lane
The neighbours of John Goodman's psychotic captor draw the curtains and get on with doing their taxes.
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