New Barbie movie to make Waylon Smithers' life complete

Transformers made a buttload of money at the box-office. Transformers are toys. Barbie is also a toy. Hence, Barbie must make a buttload of money at the box-office! Hollywood Maths Lesson #1 ends here.

It's bad enough toys and board games are getting made into full-length movies on the strength of their brand name alone, but at least they kind of have an interactive element - those Transformers aren't going to transform themselves.

But Barbie? Hell, it's a little hunk of plastic with tits and dead eyes, beloved only by small girls who haven't yet discovered the Twilight books and middle-aged gay men who list John Barrowman as 'Who I'd most like to meet' on their online dating profiles.

Mattel are said to be readying the Barbie brand for a full-length feature outing, if Variety are to be believed. I'm assuming this is to be an animated feature; if not, then a) please make sure you cast Anna Faris as Barbie so I can at least attempt to rub one out, and b) please feed my cats after I've shot myself in the face.

Yeah, you stay at the back, potato face