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Transformers

News, Reviews, Features, Trailers & Rants...

We really need to talk again about Transformers: The Last Knight

Posted by Matt Looker at 13:30 on 17 Jul 2017
We really need to talk again about Transformers: The Last Knight
This year has seen the first female-led superhero movie, two Apocalypse Now inspired monkey movies, a curtain call for Logan, a launch of Universal's Dark Universe, and the return of Cars, Captain Jack, Renton and Xander Cage. And yet there's only one film I can't get out of my head right now.

Review: Transformers: The Last Knight

Posted by Ali Gray at 00:50 on 21 Jun 2017
Transformers: The Last Knight
Michael Bay finally did it: he exploded history. Not content with retconning the dinosaurs in the last part of his ever-growing Transformers universe, Bay has now officially changed the course of human history. The Last Knight not only rewrites Arthurian legend (myth, history, whatever), it puts an Autobot spin on World War II, the mystery of Stonehenge and even Stephen Hawking, via scenes that stretch from the depths of outer space to the bottom of the ocean. It's a miracle there isn't a scene where we find out Jesus was a robot too: the Crucifixicon. It is, I shouldn't have to say but will, an extraordinary payload of absolute horseshit: a Buster Gonad-style wheelbarrow of bollocks that will leave you flabbergasted as to how incoherent, lazy and contemptuous it is. I should say, however, that I haven't laughed so much in a cinema in years.

The 13 most incredible sentences from Wikipedia's plot synopsis of Transformers: Age Of Extinction

Posted by Ali Gray at 23:20 on 19 Jun 2017
The 13 most incredible sentences from Wikipedia's plot synopsis of Transformers: Age Of Extinction
I am just a man. I don't claim to be perfect. So even when I stun strangers with my sick film trivia knowledge and straight up dunk on the critics with my professionally-honed reviewing skills, know that there are still gaps in my viewing history. I have never seen Citizen Kane, for example, possibly due to a highly comedic mixup where, for a good few years, I thought it was a sitcom starring Robert Lindsay. I have never seen a David Lynch film, principally because I think I hate him, but still. Never have I ever seen a Kristoff Kieslowski film. I don't even know if that's how you spell his name, and I didn't even bother to check. And so, I humbly admit to you, precious reader, that I have never seen Transformers: Age Of Extinction. For shame.

The Transformers/Coen Bros Venn diagram

Posted by Ali Gray at 11:55 on 04 Jul 2014
The Transformers/Coen Bros Venn diagram
It's one of the weirdest phenomenons in modern movie history: how is it that so many Coen regulars wind up in Transformers movies? See the culprits as we attempt to figure out what possible motives the guilty parties could have.

Review: Transformers: Age Of Extinction

Posted by Ed Williamson at 10:00 on 03 Jul 2014
Transformers: Age Of Extinction
An age of extinction. Well, it does go on for ages, but Michael Bay's fourth Transformers movie, while offering some CGI spectacle to knock your block off, threatens the eradication of the human race but never treats the prospect with much more than an afterthought.

Opinion piece: Everything's awful when you're a snob

Posted by Ali Gray at 16:00 on 02 Jul 2014
Opinion piece: Everything's awful when you're a snob
In a frankly unbelievable turn of events this week, two properties which have been successful in the past continued to be successful. For reasons yet to be determined, various parties are disgusted by the fact that Transformers: Age Of Extinction and Mrs Brown's Boys D'Movie made so much money at the box-office, satisfying their respective audiences of young people and old people. The school of thought seems to be that audiences shouldn't spend money on movies they want to see – they should spend money on movies we want them to see.

Transformers featurette reveals Mark Wahlberg slowly adopting robot voice

Posted by Ali Gray at 17:30 on 18 Jun 2014


Maybe those Decepticon bastards have already got to him. (Full Transformers: Age Of Extinction featurette here).

Renaming Mark Wahlberg's Transformers character Cade

Posted by Ali Gray at 00:30 on 04 Jun 2014
Renaming Mark Wahlberg's Transformers character Cade
I recently learned that Mark Wahlberg's character in Transformers: Age Of Extinction is named 'Cade Yeager', which is a contender for the most ridiculous action hero name of all time. Cade. Cade. It just sounds so... Hollywood. Real people are not called Cade. Help me right this wrong.

Mark Wahlberg found something even more futile to run from than the wind

Posted by Ali Gray at 22:00 on 31 Mar 2014
Mark Wahlberg found something even more futile to run from than the wind
This new poster for Transformers: Age Of Extinction shows that Mark Wahlberg is still unclear about exactly what he can and can't run away from. Can run away from: people, cars, explosions (at a push). Can't run away from: responsibility, wind, giant planet-sized evil robot alien overlords.

Most perfect headline/photo juxtaposition of the day

Posted by Ali Gray at 22:30 on 23 Feb 2014
Most perfect headline/photo juxtaposition of the day
No, of course Transformers 4 is not a kids' movie. It's actually a ponderous, meditative tone poem about the exploration of the self. It just happens to feature a space alien robot truck riding a space alien robot dinosaur while holding a big sword. Directed by Terrence Malick. (via /Film)
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