Bradley Cooper

Review: Guardians Of The Galaxy

Just for a second there it looked like Marvel might have let their foothold slip. Edgar Wright's departure had irreparably sullied Ant-Man; Captain America 3's release date clash with DC's Batman V Superman in 2016 seemed like a suicide mission; the suspicion lingered that Thor: The Dark World wasn't actually all that great in retrospect. Momentary blips, all, because Guardians Of The Galaxy is the most confident, daring and balls-out fun Marvel movie of the lot. The last two Marvel releases have been samey sequels, adhering largely to a tried and tested formula, but Guardians Of The Galaxy is one of Marvel's best films simply because it doesn't really feel like it's part of the Marvel universe at all.

Trailer breakdown: Guardians Of Ga'Hoole The Galaxy

You haven't properly seen the first teaser for Marvel's Guardians Of The Galaxy until you've seen my step-by-step analysis, which mainly consists of cries for help, fashion queries and unforgivable inaccuracy. Still, I do know one thing: raccoons are EEEEEEE! (*clutches hands beneath chin in girlish glee*)

There's someone missing in the first Guardians Of The Galaxy image

Disney have released the first official image from their forthcoming Marvel intergalactic adventure, Guardians Of The Galaxy. We can't help but feel there's someone quite important missing, especially given the obvious Usual Suspects homage. Thankfully it was my New Year's Resolution to do more rubbish Photoshopping, so I made amends. Send the cheque to the usual address, Disney.

Review: American Hustle

American Hustle does not fuck about setting out its stall. Its first glorious image is of a pudgy Christian Bale in a bathroom mirror, his face sheltering beneath a jacked-up haystack of atrocious seventies hair, methodically and painstakingly attempting to sculpt his ludicrous combover into a presentable form. It's immediately hilarious and tragic, and tells us that what we're about to watch is concerned with appearances, deceit, aspiration, unfathomable fashion choices and hair. Lots of hair.

Anchorman meets American Hustle

What happens when the characters of David O Russell's American Hustle get friendly with the characters of Adam McKay's Anchorman universe? Answer: THIS HAPPENS.

10 actors more suited to voice Rocket Raccoon than Bradley Cooper

According to web reports filed by internet elves, handsome actor and man Bradley Cooper is poised to play the role that all of Hollywood is hankering after: Rocket Raccoon in Marvel's Guardians Of The Galaxy. Take it from me, the guy who has never read a comic: I've got 10 guys here that could wipe the floor with Bradley Cooper's vocal chords. Eww.

Edit: Fuck you, Ben Affleck. This took, like, two hours.

Review: The Hangover: Part III

Only now that it has reached its merciful conclusion, we can see that The Hangover trilogy plays out a lot like a night of drunken excess. To start with, everything you say or do seems riotously funny and original. Then, as the night grows old, the attention goes to your head; you begin to repeat yourself, and your humour takes on a nasty edge. Finally, three sheets to the wind and completely intoxicated on your own brilliance, you become boorish, hateful, unnecessarily violent, idiotic and completely unrecognisable from the man you once were. That's certainly how my Saturday nights usually pan out, anyway.

Review: The Place Beyond The Pines

One of the conditions of me joining The Shiznit after closing down my own unbelievably popular and hilarious film blog was that I would become the site's Gosling Correspondent: any and all Ryan Goslingness would have to pass through me before it made it onto the internet. The rest of the team made a bit of a fuss, but when I took my shirt off to reveal my full chest tattoo of Ryan's face, they soon agreed to all my demands. Turns out I didn't need to take my trousers and pants off as well, but still, in for a penny, in for a pound.

Review: Silver Linings Playbook

I have no idea what 'playbook' means, being British. How am I possibly supposed to grasp a concept so arcane; so steeped in Americana? You might as well ask me to participate in a rodeo or wage a baseless imperialist war against a country wholly unprepared to defend itself against mine. A good thing, then, that the UK marketers of Silver Linings Playbook had the sense to make the word very small in all its promotional material. A less good thing that Ali wrote a whole feature about this before I got around to writing the introduction I'd been planning based on this premise. One day I'll have more than one idea in my head at a time, then I'll be unstoppable.

Assessing the jauntiness of Silver Linings Playbook from its myriad logos

The poor bastards in charge of Silver Linings Playbook in the UK have their work cut out for them, given that the film features no aliens, robots or vampires. What it does have is people with mental illness. How best to represent that on the poster? Why, jaunty lettering, of course!