American Hustle does not fuck about setting out its stall. Its first glorious image is of a pudgy Christian Bale in a bathroom mirror, his face sheltering beneath a jacked-up haystack of atrocious seventies hair, methodically and painstakingly attempting to sculpt his ludicrous combover into a presentable form. It's immediately hilarious and tragic, and tells us that what we're about to watch is concerned with appearances, deceit, aspiration, unfathomable fashion choices and hair. Lots of hair.
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters bears all the hallmarks of a film that knows entirely how silly it is. For starters, it's called Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters. It's produced by Adam McKay and Will Ferrell, the freewheeling comedic spitballers behind Anchorman. Peter Stormare is in it. Crucially, it has a concept so inherently ludicrous – Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and Gretel (Gemma Arterton) are all grown up and hunt witches with hardware that'd shame Seal Team Six – you'd think it impossible for such a film to lack self-awareness. Why, then, does Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters fumble almost every chance it has to be funny?
Despite its lineage, The Bourne Legacy has received a frosty reception from critics thus far and has had an almost completely anonymous marketing presence – rather than dynamically burst into cinemas next week, rolling up its poster and ramming it down audiences' throats, it shuffles in apologetically to be met with highly suspicious glares. This is entirely unnecessary, because while Legacy couldn't ever hope to match the Paul Greengrass/Matt Damon movies for sheer punch and propulsion, it's as close to replicating them as you could expect, and marks another excellent entry into the Bourneography.
Somehow, thanks to what I can only presume was some oversight in the security details for the cast of Avengers Assemble, I was allowed within dry-humping distance of the stars to ask them some questions about the film. I’ll be posting them all over the next few days, but firstly, here’s my interview with Scarlett Johansson and Jeremy Renner. Thank god I remembered to muffle my ankle bracelet that morning.
JOURNALISTS ASSEMBLE! I had the pleasure of joining half of the media in the UK in attending the biggest press conference ever seen in Britain. Probably. It was pretty big. At one point there was a biscuit shortage.