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Sylvester Stallone

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It's like all The Expendables died

Posted by Ali Gray at 19:30 on 03 Apr 2014


These new Expendables 3 posters make it look like the entire cast died of an unexpected heart attack en masse. Especially if you listen to this.

Review: Grudge Match

Posted by Ed Williamson at 12:00 on 24 Jan 2014
Grudge Match
You join me as I battle the triple threat of fatigue, hangover and a burgeoning cold in attempting to semi-satisfactorily review Grudge Match in the two hours I have before I collapse. This tight schedule is caused by a three-night midweek run in which I saw the film, then contributed drunkenly to Team Shiznit's glorious triumph at the Picturehouse Podcast Comedy Film Quiz, and now am attempting to write the review by the release date. Now, when a film is press-screened three days before it comes out, you fear the worst, but they needn't have worried: Grudge Match is pretty good fun when it bothers trying.

In pictures: Why Sly Stallone and Richard Gere don't get on

Posted by Ali Gray at 22:00 on 14 Dec 2013
In pictures: Why Sly Stallone and Richard Gere don't get on
While researching a feature for some place else, I stumbled on a truly amazing Sylvester Stallone anecdote about the time he pissed off Richard Gere on the set of grammatically dubious teen movie, The Lord's Of Flatbush. I decided to illustrate it for your viewing pleasure. Read this in his voice and it's ten times more amazing.

Review: Bullet To The Head

Posted by Ali at 22:00 on 27 Jan 2013
Bullet To The Head
The best thing about Bullet To The Head is that it is only 91 minutes long. I've watched so many three-hour, awards-worthy epics this month, I was expecting the final fight between Sylvester Stallone and villain Jason Momoa to be the catalyst that actually gets the story started. Brevity is hardly a big selling point, but know this: Bullet To The Head is short, sharp and to the point, if the point is Sly Stallone punching, kicking and stabbing people quite violently.

Win Expendables 2, then celebrate by snapping someone's neck clean off

Posted by Matt at 22:00 on 04 Dec 2012
Win Expendables 2, then celebrate by snapping someone's neck clean off
Do you like watching old men fight each other to the death? Then we have the competition for you!

Crack the code for exciting Expendables 3 news

Posted by Matt at 14:00 on 06 Nov 2012
Crack the code for exciting Expendables 3 news
Exciting, new viral marketing for a tired, old, virile franchise has begun. Can you decipher Sly Stallone's baffling code to reveal some top casting choices for Expendables 3?

The Last Stand vs Bullet To The Head: who's the ultimate action OAP?

Posted by Ali at 07:00 on 21 Aug 2012
The Last Stand vs Bullet To The Head: who's the ultimate action OAP?
They're grumpy! They're old! Their muscles ache! But they're movie stars, damn it! After their two Expendables team-building exercises, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are going head to head in early 2013 with competing action movies: The Last Stand and Bullet To The Head. We square them off against one another by putting a little 'vs' between their pictures. That's how it works, right?

The definitive list of ridiculous action hero character names

Posted by Ali at 07:00 on 17 Aug 2012
The definitive list of ridiculous action hero character names
If you've seen The Expendables' IMDB page lately, you'll have seen the amazing character names in all their glory, but these are just the latest in the long, fine tradition of giving action stars the most ridiculous monikers possible. With that in mind, we present to you the cream of the crap: the most ludicrously macho characters ever named.

Review: The Expendables 2

Posted by Ali at 07:00 on 14 Aug 2012
The Expendables 2
The Expendables 2 isn't a movie that exists in our conventional universe. Sure, it stars men of flesh and blood, who live and breathe and bleed, but it is not set in reality. It's an extreme cinematic experience – a 'movie movie', the kind which characters in Quentin Tarantino films enjoy. It's just that little bit exaggerated – not always to an immediately noticeable degree, but it feels like it's constantly overclocked. The Expendables 2 is turbo-charged, hyper-violent, super-stupid and doesn't give a single, solitary shit.

Who looks most bored on the new poster for The Expendables 2?

Posted by Ali at 18:30 on 16 Jun 2012
Who looks most bored on the new poster for The Expendables 2?
It's the most exciting action movie of the year, featuring an ambulance-full of action heroes, eager to show they can still cut it in the modern world. Why, then, do they all look so bloody miserable?
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