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Avengers

News, Reviews, Features, Trailers & Rants...

Review: Captain America: Civil War

Posted by Ali Gray at 14:00 on 05 May 2016
Captain America: Civil War
"So what is Vision?" I'm at the pub, still digesting Captain America: Civil War, and I've been caught off guard. "Well, he's... um...he's a, er... so Thor had this sort of bath, then Ultron, erm... You know the Mind Gem, th-..." Christ, I'm racking my brains and his first movie only came out a year ago. Marvel movies move pretty fast; if you don't re-watch regularly, or God forbid miss a movie, your pub trivia game will suffer. (My best guess: Vision is a space ghost fruit roll-up robot butler dressed by George at Asda). Civil War is the 13th movie in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and if you haven't been paying attention over the last eight years, you're going to find it really, really hard to keep up. The MCU doesn't slow down, doesn't pull its punches and doesn't really do 'Previously, on the Marvel Cinematic Universe..." It has unapologetically and unreservedly been constructed from the ground up for fans - and those fans are going to go bend-over-backwards apeshit crazy for Civil War, arguably the movie that the previous 12 have all been working towards.

PLACEHOLDER: 5-star Civil War review [pending Marvel payment] ***DO NOT PUBLISH***

Posted by Ali Gray at 10:00 on 18 Apr 2016
PLACEHOLDER: 5-star Civil War review [pending Marvel payment] ***DO NOT PUBLISH***
Hi guys, just to let you know, the marketing arm of Marvel have been in contact with me as they have with all of the UK press to offer The Shiznit payment for giving Captain America: Civil War a positive review. I'm sure you remember that they already paid us the first £5,000 for giving Batman V Superman a negative review, but they've confirmed that the rest of the bribe will be delivered upon publication of our Civil War review, which I'm seeing tomorrow. Not that it matters.

8 amazing things that happen in The Asylum's Avengers Grimm

Posted by Matt Looker at 12:00 on 27 Apr 2015
8 amazing things that happen in The Asylum's Avengers Grimm
The Asylum is back, and this time it's shilling two turds with one groan. Both superhero films AND live-action fairy tales get the rip-off treatment in a film that has little to do with either. But where there's scantily-clad actresses and Lou Ferrigno, there's hope and wonder to be crushed. SPOILERS.

Box-office report: Avengers: Age Of Ultron makes total fucking shit-tonne

Posted by Ali Gray at 22:40 on 26 Apr 2015
Box-office report: Avengers: Age Of Ultron makes total fucking shit-tonne
The first Avengers movie broke records when it scored a fucking massive domestic opening weekend of $204.7 million fucking dollars, but sequel Age Of Ultron looks like it might make even more fucking money than that, with a fucking astonishing take of $201.2 million fucking dollars internationally - and that's before the fucking thing has even fucking opened in America.

Avengers... all aboard! Navigate the Marvel Cinematic Universe Tube map

Posted by Ali Gray, Matt Looker, Seb Patrick at 00:30 on 23 Apr 2015
Avengers... all aboard! Navigate the Marvel Cinematic Universe Tube map
Avengers: Age Of Ultron is in cinemas this week, hooray! The Marvel Cinematic Universe is now so large it feels like it needs its own transportation system to navigate it adequately - that's our terrible segue for introducing our very own Marvel-themed Central London Tube map, created for reasons we can't quite remember!

Review: Avengers: Age Of Ultron

Posted by Matt Looker at 22:00 on 21 Apr 2015
Avengers: Age Of Ultron
For how much longer can superhero films rule the box office? Everyone's waiting for comic-book movies to implode, and while it probably won't happen with one disastrous misfire that has a big Comic Sans 'Ker-dunk!' hanging overhead, this second Avengers assembly would seem like the logical start of a more gradual decline. After all, genre fatigue is already setting in, and The Avengers' USP - superhero all-stars teaming up for one mega-big movie - is no longer a fresh, never-before-seen idea. Just in terms of living up to the sheer excitement levels of its predecessors, Avengers: Age Of Ultron would already seem like a failure.

Keith Lemon has apparently joined The Avengers

Posted by Ali Gray at 10:30 on 14 Mar 2015
Keith Lemon has apparently joined The Avengers
"Proper moist," he said in a statement. Or is that the other one. They're all awful. GO AWAY.

The trailer for your new superhero ensemble movie looks awesome

Posted by Matt Looker at 11:31 on 28 Oct 2014


Did you see Mr. Incredible's Chewbacca-buster armour? SO COOL.

Trailer breakdown: Avengers: Age Of Ultron? More like Age Of FUN-ltron!

Posted by The Shiznit at 00:15 on 27 Oct 2014
Trailer breakdown: Avengers: Age Of Ultron? More like Age Of FUN-ltron!
Sure, you might have already watched the Avengers: Age Of Ultron trailer several times, but have you seen it in still-frame form, accompanied by hastily-written comments, a good week after everyone else published something very similar? I'm guessing the answer is oh you've already gone.

Avengers: Age Of Ultron has the vaguest, most clichéd synopsis ever

Posted by Ali Gray at 16:00 on 16 Sep 2014
Avengers: Age Of Ultron has the vaguest, most clichéd synopsis ever
Stop talking! Drop everything! Yes, even you, guy doing emergency surgery! The official synopsis for Avengers: Age Of Ultron has been released and it's... incredibly generic. It reads like it has been written by an evil AI whose only function is to churn out underwhelming copy to press agencies. The fiend!
Out this week
+La La Land (12A)
Our review
+Manchester By The Sea (15)
+Live By Night (15)
+Underworld: Blood Wars (15)
+The Bye Bye Man (15)