Nobody told me it was National Sexism Week. I would have bought a badge or something. First came Seth MacFarlane's boob-centric stint as Oscars host, then everyone piled in to insult a 21-year-old American actress walking down the street for not being as attractive as a comic-book character. I don't know about the rest of you fellas, but I'm feeling pretty ashamed about my own penis right now. Moreso than usual.
To the relief of Google-baiters everywhere, SEXY HARRY POTTER star and former TEEN Emma Watson is rumoured to be starring in the movie adaptation of the racy hit series FIFTY SHADES OF GREY, described by some to contain SEX, HARDCORE FUCKING, BONDAGE, SPANKING and female empowerment.
Oscar-hopeful Piranha 3DD has had its theatrical release canned and is heading straight to DVD, which is terrible news for lovers of trashy horror films but great news for people who hate getting boners in public.
The Change-Up is out now, and on the surface, looks like a fairly amiable body-swap comedy. However, within lies a secret that could change the way men masturbate over naked breasts in movies... forever.
You've already seen our list of guilty pleasures from 2010, and with awesomely bad movies comes awesomely bad dire-logue - the lines that drop out of character's mouths like turds out of bumholes. Enjoy!