Why I Hate

News, Reviews & Features
  • Why I Hate... M. Night Shyamalan

    Movie Feature | Mark | 29th January 2007

    With the release of his latest movie Lady In The Water on DVD, our generation's sub-Hitchcock is once again generating column inches. Critics have not been kind - "boring" say some, "career-threateningly catastrophic" says another - but I don't need to see it to know that it's a sickly sweet tale of morality about man and the s...

  • Why I Hate... Modern Horror

    Movie Feature | Ali | 20th January 2007

    Let's assume, for all intents and purposes, that I scare easily. Let's say, just theoretically, that I lose control of my limbs every time I see a spider, jump several notches up the homo-o-meter when I hear bumps in the night and break into a cold sweat whenever someone tells Noel Edmonds 'no deal'. Theoretically. One would ...

  • Why I Hate... Sequels And Remakes

    Movie Feature | Mark | 9th October 2006

    "Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking sequels on my motherfucking movie screens!" Sequels suck. Almost as much as remakes. Or, as they're known these days, "reimaginings." Or, in other words, "Taking all the good bits out and inserting CGI bees." Sequels are, for the most part, unoriginal, often boring, ...

  • Why I Hate... F.A.C.T.

    Movie Feature | Mark | 2nd September 2006

    Love movies? Sure you do. That's why you're here. But we only love movies - not the bullshit that goes with them. Seeing adverts at the movies is a pain in the arse - remember Terry Gilliam's boringly epic football advert with Eric Cantona that made Attack Of The Clones that much further away? Sick and tired of being peppered...

  • Why I Hate... John Travolta

    Movie Feature | Ali | 7th September 2005

    Not many famous people can make me angry just by looking at them, but John Travolta is one of the elite few who possess such an ability. Look at him; the sun bouncing off the many curves of his huge, podgy face, the huge arse on his chin offsetting his smug, self-satisfied grin, his doughy cheeks screaming out "I'm worth millions and millions of dollars and there's nothing you can do about it!" How did a man who looks like the bastard lovechild of the Pilsbury doughboy and the Michelin Man manage to dominate Hollywood for so long? That's unfair - both the Pilsbury doughboy and the Michelin Man have talent in their own respective fields; Travolta, on the other hand, has been coasting on auto-pilot for years. Often literally.

  • Why I Hate... Jude Law

    Movie Feature | Ali | 23rd August 2005

    I think I have rage issues. It's not like I kick small children in the face or punch pregnant women in the stomach, nothing like that, it's just my blood boils at a lot lower temperature than everyone else. If you've ever read a single article on this site, you'll probably quite familiar with my hatred for many things movie-re...

  • Why I Hate... Kids

    Movie Feature | Ali | 24th July 2005

    "Little children should be seen and not heard." Whoever said that was clearly a kiddie-fiddler. Talking cinema, I can certainly appreciate the second bit - I've lost count of how many times I've fantasised about lining up small, noisy children at my local multiplex while I unload my nail gun through their little unbl...

  • Why I Hate... Robert De Niro

    Movie Feature | Ali | 13th July 2005

    I've been told it's always good to start with a joke: Q. What's fat, old, rich and rubbish? A. Robert De Niro. Fair enough, it's not funny. But then neither is Robert De Niro. Over the last decade, the once great actor's career has been reduced to a joke, a fluffed punchline that's fallen flat and left only a ringing si...

  • Why I Hate... Richard Curtis

    Movie Feature | Ali | 5th July 2005

    If Arnold Schwarzenegger personifies American cinema - powerful, symbolic and domineering - then British cinema would have to be Hugh Grant - bumbling, unsure and frankly, a pain in the arse to watch. There's one person more than any other to blame for this, and funnily enough, it's not Hugh Grant himself. No, the person mainl...

  • Why I Hate... The Star Wars Prequels

    Movie Feature | Andy | 4th July 2005

    I'm going to put my hands up and admit from the get-go that I'm a huge fan of Star Wars. By that, I mean the original three we all know and love. Star Wars was the first movie I ever saw at the cinema aged 4 (apparently Bambi might have preceded that, but I choose to forget that because it's shit), and I remember going to watch...