Movie news round-up: Hyper-enthused Comic-Con edition

This week saw the nerdgates open at Comic-Con, which is great for all the people who waited in a queue for 48 hours, but not so great for you unless you like reading descriptions of things that happened. Or, in our case, descriptions of descriptions of things that happened.

Marvel were obviously the main draw of Comic-Con this year. I hope you like logos of things, because here come some logos of things. I bet the guy who put this slideshow together from last month is totally PO'd right now.



In true LL Cool J style, let's break it down. Iron Man 3 we already know about: footage was shown of Tony's Malibu mansion crumbling into the ocean, along with a shot of Ben Kingsley as The Mandarin, going "Mwahahahahaaa!" (paraphrasing).

Thor: The Dark World is the new name for Thor 2, so it now no longer sounds like a football score. It's due in cinemas on the 8th of November 2013, so, y'know, reschedule that haircut or whatever.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier will follow soon after on the 4th of April 2014, and will clearly be based on the 'snow level' episode of Band Of Brothers, which is the best news ever. If videogames have taught me anything, it's that every good soldier has to suffer a snow level.

Guardians Of The Galaxy has now officially been double-confirmed, turn around and touch the ground, no take-backsies, for the 1st of August 2014. And yes, in case you were wondering, it will feature a gun-toting space raccoon. EMOTE THAT, ANDY SERKIS.

Lastly but definitely not leastly is Edgar Wright's Ant-Man, which has no fixed release date and no announced cast as of yet. However, some test footage was shown of Hank Pym barreling down a corridor, changing from teeny-tiny size to normal human size in order to beat up some goons. I haven't been this excited about ant-based entertainment since Sim Ant.
Goodness! With all that superhero spandexery going down at Comic-Con, I almost forgot Gareth Edwards of Monsters fame was making a Godzilla movie. A teaser trailer was shown, but it sounds like nothing much was revealed, so I won't pretend like I know what other people were looking at. You'll have to make do with this cool teaser poster.


How desperate are you for footage from the set of Star Trek 2? Because this four-minute video of Karl Urban surfing to the strains of an indie bedwetter band has eight seconds of JJ Abrams at the end, which is great if you like wasting your time.



Far more interesting was Urban's apparent slip while talking to press earlier this week, when he revealed Benedict Cumberbatch's villain wasn't Khan, or a Klingon, or the Borg, but a dude named Gary Mitchell. I cannot believe their is a major tentpole sci-fi being lined up for release in 2013 with a villain called 'Gary'.
My new best friend Jon Favreau is in talks to direct the movie adaptation of stage musical Jersey Boys, which my Mum is going to see for her birthday next week. Thanks for the free tickets, Favs. I'll IM you my notes in the AM, yeah? (*shooty finger-wink*)

According to footage shown at Comic-Con, Kristen Stewart's character will wrestle and EAT a mountain lion in The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2. Finally, a Twilight film still I won't have to photoshop.
Will Smith will allegedly make his directorial debut with a vampire version of the story of Cain and Abel, because apparently The Bible is the only book left that hasn't been adapted for emo teenagers who love vampires and hate their families.

Thanks to its huge popularity in the US and the ongoing Channification of American cinema, Magic Mike is apparently getting a sequel, at least according to star Channing Tatum (not sure how Steven 'Seriously you guys, I'm retiring any minute now' Soderbergh will feel about that). Magic Mike: The Thongquel will be "bigger", says Tatum, who refused to mention whether it'd also be longer and uncut.
ACTUAL PROPER GOOD-SOUNDING NEWS ALERT! Joe Cornish will direct the big-screen adaptation of Rust: Visitor In The Field, which sounds like a cross between The Rocketeer and E.T. and I dunno Lost or something. Open your gob and swallow this tasty synopsis.

Philip Seymour Hoffman is onboard Catching Fire, the sequel to The Hunger Games, playing a character named Plutarch Heavensbee. Boy, those post-apocalyptic future dystopias sure do have some queer-sounding folk living in them.

If Kenny Powers was writing this story about the new writer of World War Z, he would say this: DAMON LINDELOF'S FUCKIN OUT, DREW GODDARD IS FUCKIN IN. But he's not, I am. Turns out that'll do.
Fifty Shades Of Grey is being turned into a movie by the producers of The Social Network, which is great news for people who like watching sex on film but have never heard of pornography or dignity.


He'll be designing new movie posters for Mondo, the design guys who make posters so rare it's literally impossible for you to buy them. You know, Drew Struzan? The poster guy? Indiana Jones, Star Wars, Back To The Future? Drew Struz- Wait, are you just here because you Googled 'Fifty Shades Of Grey sex film'? GET THE HELL OUT.