Movie news round-up: Prometheus, Turtles and banging Lohan

The usual round-up of movie news tidbits, dispatched icily, without compassion. I'm like Bukowski, if Bukowski liked films and sweets and blogging and wasn't actually all that good at writing.

Aaron Johnson has confirmed that production on Kick-Ass 2 will kickstart this Autumn, and that he, Chloe Moretz and Christopher Mintz-Plasse will all return, as will Matthew Vaughn in a producer capacity. Let's all start thinking of inappropriate things Chloe Moretz can say this time! Cocks! Fanny hair! Tromboning!
There's a tonne of interesting behind the scenes pictures from Prometheus on fansite PrometheusForum.net, including some interesting shots of an unseen character, 'Elder Engineer', who was cut out of the opening sequence. There's also a shot of Guy Pearce in the Peter Weyland old man make-up where he doesn't look like a large ballbag.


First he was in Django Unchained, then he was replaced by Sacha Baron Cohen, then Sacha Baron Cohen was out, but now Jonah Hill is finally back in Quentin Tarantino's latest flick. Truly this epic saga is the filmic equivalent of Ronaldo's transfer to Real Madrid.

Ethan Hawke has revealed that he and Julie Delpy will be shooting another 'Before...' movie with Richard Linklater this summer, which is probably more exciting news if you've seen either Before Sunrise of Before Sunset, which, obviously, I have. (*tugs nervously at collar*)
Check out the amazing old-age prosthesis applied to Ben Stiller for The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty: rather than just adding wrinkles, thinning hair and liver spots, the make-up artists have subtly altered the contours of his face and used old family photos as reference. It's a marvel.

I've been waiting patiently for ages for news on Neill Blomkamp's Elysium, the South African director's follow-up to 2009's official best movie District 9. Aside from a few set shots of a bald Matt Damon running away from a tractor (or something) we've seen nothing of note... UNTIL NOW. Here's the brand new synopsis, taken from a ticket for a test screening.

HOLY SHIT NEW BATMAN FOOTAGE EVERYBODY SHUT UP BECAUSE THE NEW TV SPOT FOR THE DARK KNIGHT RISES IS oh it's finished.


Screenwriter Noah Oppenheim has been hired to knock up the first draft of a new adaptation of George Orwell's 1984, the seminal novel that correctly predicted the existence of popular television programme, Celebrity Big Brother (disclosure: I haven't read it). Bizarrely, Oppenheimer's IMDB profile lists zero writing credits but has him as a producer of the Today show and an exec producer of weight loss reality show, Losing It With Jillian. It's what Orwell would have wanted.

Exciting news from the land of Joe Cornish: the Attack The Block director, Tintin writer and former cuddly toy manipulator will take the helm of new sci-fi adventure Snow Crash; a bonkers future tale of hacking, corrupt corporations and pizza delivery. Words can't express how happy I am Joe is directing a film like this and not A Good Day To Die Hard And/Or Sit Down.

Disney really need to sack the guy in charge of all their money (shot in the dark: his name is Zutroy) because the budget for The Lone Ranger has reportedly got out of control again. Yes, that's even after production on the entire movie was shut down while the movie's finances were downscaled. Jesus, Zutroy. Haven't you heard of MoneySavingExpert.com?

Now he's done ruling out lupus once and for all in House, Hugh Laurie has become a hot commodity in Hollywood. He's allegedly in the frame to play the villain in the forthcoming remake of Robocop. I'm only down with this if we can get Stephen Fry to provide the voice of ED-209: "I am now authorised to use physical force... oo-er missus."